Here's proof...
Wonder how long it will take for me to reach 3000 visitors. Here's to popular blogging.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Recession Proof Business
In these recession hit times, investors and entrepreneurs are searching for the elusive ‘recession proof’ industry. It’s like the Holy Grail. Everyone wants to find it, everyone is looking for it, no one has a clue as to what it might be, but we all know that it’s a huge jackpot.
Well, I think I just might have discovered it. At least theoretically.
First of all, let’s identify a recession resistant activity. It would have to be something really basic. Something that everyone wants to do. Hmmm. The 3 basic needs of man – food, shelter and sex. (The 3 basic needs of women are – gossiping, shopping and chocolate). So that leaves us with eating, sleeping or humping. Being a normal guy, I chose to explore the last activity.
Now, if one looks at the rate at which India’s population is growing it is obvious that people are … well… doing it. And doing it as often as they’ve been doing it for the last 100 years. The Government of India claims that every minute 48 people are born in this country. So if there are 5.25 lakh minutes in year, that must mean that there are 25 million people being born (theoretically) every year.
It’s a known fact that not every act of pleasure results in acts of joy or of sheer terror (depending on your relationship), so let us assume a 20% ‘hit ratio’. You might disagree with the 20% number, but that’s up to you. Therefore, there are 12 crore 61 lakh times that people do it every year without any form of contraception. Imagine that, people are getting laid that many times without a care in the world!
Course, not every guy who gets horny has plans of becoming a proud daddy. So let’s say that just 10% of the people wanted to have kids. The others just wanted to have fun. Logically, this means that the remaining 90% of the people boned each other without any form of protection or insurance. That’s a staggering 11 crore 35 lakh acts of free pleasure. With nothing coming in between the partners.
Now if you assume a packet of raincoats costs you 20 bucks and you get 3 missile caps in each, it gives you a Total Available Market (TAM) of almost 76 crores.
Those of you in the FMCG, and I mean realllllyyyyyyy FMCG, might want to give this a thought. Who says you can’t have fun and still get laid… oops, I meant paid… for it during these times?
For the rest of you, I think I need to get something to do with all the spare time I have. I just wanted to point out that there is plenty of money on the table, or in this case …. On the bed.
Well, I think I just might have discovered it. At least theoretically.
First of all, let’s identify a recession resistant activity. It would have to be something really basic. Something that everyone wants to do. Hmmm. The 3 basic needs of man – food, shelter and sex. (The 3 basic needs of women are – gossiping, shopping and chocolate). So that leaves us with eating, sleeping or humping. Being a normal guy, I chose to explore the last activity.
Now, if one looks at the rate at which India’s population is growing it is obvious that people are … well… doing it. And doing it as often as they’ve been doing it for the last 100 years. The Government of India claims that every minute 48 people are born in this country. So if there are 5.25 lakh minutes in year, that must mean that there are 25 million people being born (theoretically) every year.
It’s a known fact that not every act of pleasure results in acts of joy or of sheer terror (depending on your relationship), so let us assume a 20% ‘hit ratio’. You might disagree with the 20% number, but that’s up to you. Therefore, there are 12 crore 61 lakh times that people do it every year without any form of contraception. Imagine that, people are getting laid that many times without a care in the world!
Course, not every guy who gets horny has plans of becoming a proud daddy. So let’s say that just 10% of the people wanted to have kids. The others just wanted to have fun. Logically, this means that the remaining 90% of the people boned each other without any form of protection or insurance. That’s a staggering 11 crore 35 lakh acts of free pleasure. With nothing coming in between the partners.
Now if you assume a packet of raincoats costs you 20 bucks and you get 3 missile caps in each, it gives you a Total Available Market (TAM) of almost 76 crores.
Those of you in the FMCG, and I mean realllllyyyyyyy FMCG, might want to give this a thought. Who says you can’t have fun and still get laid… oops, I meant paid… for it during these times?
For the rest of you, I think I need to get something to do with all the spare time I have. I just wanted to point out that there is plenty of money on the table, or in this case …. On the bed.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Purpose of Art..
Ever wondered why they made you attend music lessons in school, or drawing class or made you read those boring hindi poems (CBSE) that seemed to make very little sense. Ever asked yourself what the point was when they wouldn't get you into that engineering/medical college? Ever found reading boring?
Well, Dana Gioia certainly has a lot of the answers. Take my advice and fast forward the introduction. If you find what he has to say boring or tedious, then neither he nor I were addressing you. :-)
PS - I know I've been talking a lot about commencement speeches of late. But that's only because I slept through mine. Montek Singh Alhuwalia bored the living daylights out of me & 200 other ISBians from the Class of 2007. He went on and on. No wonder in this country the planning (commission) takes so long.
Well, Dana Gioia certainly has a lot of the answers. Take my advice and fast forward the introduction. If you find what he has to say boring or tedious, then neither he nor I were addressing you. :-)
PS - I know I've been talking a lot about commencement speeches of late. But that's only because I slept through mine. Montek Singh Alhuwalia bored the living daylights out of me & 200 other ISBians from the Class of 2007. He went on and on. No wonder in this country the planning (commission) takes so long.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Gen Next? How About Gen Now?
After watching Steve Job's Stanford 2005 Commencement Speech for the nth time, I decided to check out some of the subsequent commencement speeches made at Stanford. I struggled for 8 minutes with Oprah (2008) talking about herself & her god daughter (Class of 2008) and shamelessly trying to play to the gallery before I had enough of the woman. I then saw the link for the speech in 2006 by Tom Brokaw.
I have never heard of Tom Brokaw before. Turns out he is a world famous and, unlike Oprah, is also a learned person who has worked as a TV journalist all over the world for the last 30 years. His speech was that of a mature man who has seen a lot that life has to offer. It was also polished and hard hitting, as one would expect from an experienced journalist. Unlike Steve Jobs who talked about deeply personal lessons or Oprah who talked just plain crap, Tom focused on the responsibility that the Stanford class had to other people.
He talked about how he has interviewed the most famous & powerful people on the planet, and yet is still humbled by men & women who dedicate their lives to serve causes. The point he made about biologists in the Amazonian rain forests who endure illness, danger & discomfort just to try & catalog species before they are wiped out was a strong one. More so was the story he told about a doctor from a poor family who took a huge loan to go to Stanford & then went and joined Doctors Without Borders so that he could save children. The story of the Mongolian nomad who rode 15 miles on his horse just to vote held the class in rapt attention.
Tom then went on to remind his audience of the what he called 'the greatest generation America ever produced'. He was referring to the men & women who overcame the Great Depression, defeated the Axis Powers in WW2, laid the foundations for America to become the most powerful nation in the world, and yet found the time & compassion to not only rebuild their erstwhile enemies but also to liberate blacks & women in America.
Now my question to you is this, what kind of generation will we in India be remembered as? Where are the leaders who will do a Roosevelt for us? How many people are there amongst us who will take the path less traveled and turn their backs on the corporate rat race? How many of us actually care about the environment or the plight of people who aren't as fortunate as we are?
A close friend of mine often derides this nation for its plight. She says that we deserve to be poor and backward. Maybe she's right. There are times when I can't help but agree with her. But there are also times when I feel that this cannot be our answer. I personally know that almost all (of the little) that I have achieved has been due to the support & values that my parents gave me. I certainly didn't 'deserve' to be their son. I was just lucky. And so are most of us. As much as we'd like to think that we are self made men & women, we're not. We're the product of what our parents, our teachers, our friends and if you stretch the point, our country has made us.
Maybe its time we stopped worrying about things like our stock portfolio, our last rating at work, our next promotion, the new car the neighbour just bought and god knows what else.
There are much bigger challenges our generation has to deal with. Global warming, terrorism, religious intolerance, poverty, environmental degradation, pollution. Take your pick.
Unlike our parents & their parents, we've been lucky enough to never know what food shortages, foreign rule, lack of jobs & opportunities are. We've grown up in a land of plenty, we've been educated in the best institutions and we're armed with the latest technology.
This is our time. If we don't make a difference now, we never will. Steve Jobs spoke about how though we are young now, not too far in the future we will be 'the old' that has to make way for 'the new'. We need to ask ourselves if we want to be remembered as the generation that settled for reality shows when it had the chance to save the planet?
Ladies & Gentlemen / Boys & Girls, the clock is ticking....
I have never heard of Tom Brokaw before. Turns out he is a world famous and, unlike Oprah, is also a learned person who has worked as a TV journalist all over the world for the last 30 years. His speech was that of a mature man who has seen a lot that life has to offer. It was also polished and hard hitting, as one would expect from an experienced journalist. Unlike Steve Jobs who talked about deeply personal lessons or Oprah who talked just plain crap, Tom focused on the responsibility that the Stanford class had to other people.
He talked about how he has interviewed the most famous & powerful people on the planet, and yet is still humbled by men & women who dedicate their lives to serve causes. The point he made about biologists in the Amazonian rain forests who endure illness, danger & discomfort just to try & catalog species before they are wiped out was a strong one. More so was the story he told about a doctor from a poor family who took a huge loan to go to Stanford & then went and joined Doctors Without Borders so that he could save children. The story of the Mongolian nomad who rode 15 miles on his horse just to vote held the class in rapt attention.
Tom then went on to remind his audience of the what he called 'the greatest generation America ever produced'. He was referring to the men & women who overcame the Great Depression, defeated the Axis Powers in WW2, laid the foundations for America to become the most powerful nation in the world, and yet found the time & compassion to not only rebuild their erstwhile enemies but also to liberate blacks & women in America.
Now my question to you is this, what kind of generation will we in India be remembered as? Where are the leaders who will do a Roosevelt for us? How many people are there amongst us who will take the path less traveled and turn their backs on the corporate rat race? How many of us actually care about the environment or the plight of people who aren't as fortunate as we are?
A close friend of mine often derides this nation for its plight. She says that we deserve to be poor and backward. Maybe she's right. There are times when I can't help but agree with her. But there are also times when I feel that this cannot be our answer. I personally know that almost all (of the little) that I have achieved has been due to the support & values that my parents gave me. I certainly didn't 'deserve' to be their son. I was just lucky. And so are most of us. As much as we'd like to think that we are self made men & women, we're not. We're the product of what our parents, our teachers, our friends and if you stretch the point, our country has made us.
Maybe its time we stopped worrying about things like our stock portfolio, our last rating at work, our next promotion, the new car the neighbour just bought and god knows what else.
There are much bigger challenges our generation has to deal with. Global warming, terrorism, religious intolerance, poverty, environmental degradation, pollution. Take your pick.
Unlike our parents & their parents, we've been lucky enough to never know what food shortages, foreign rule, lack of jobs & opportunities are. We've grown up in a land of plenty, we've been educated in the best institutions and we're armed with the latest technology.
This is our time. If we don't make a difference now, we never will. Steve Jobs spoke about how though we are young now, not too far in the future we will be 'the old' that has to make way for 'the new'. We need to ask ourselves if we want to be remembered as the generation that settled for reality shows when it had the chance to save the planet?
Ladies & Gentlemen / Boys & Girls, the clock is ticking....
Saturday, January 03, 2009
50 Word Stories
1. Knock Knock.. Open
You fat, lazy, greedy swine. How dare you ignore me? Look at me when I talk to you! Open this door right now. I was doing this before you learnt how to drive that fancy car. Ungrateful wretch. Don’t you know you’re supposed to give alms to beggars during Ramzan?
2. The New Girl
Nervous? Scared? Terrified? That’s how she felt on the first day at the new school. Groups of children stood in the corridors. Girls giggled as she passed. Boys whistled at her. ‘One last chance to run’ she told herself and entered the classroom.
‘Good morning teacher’ they screamed in glee.
3. The Judge
The judge sneered at the doomed man. He was sweating. The judge could sense the executioner running towards them from behind. The crowd bayed for blood. The man’s partner didn’t even look at him. Cowards!
The judge’s finger twitched. He was desperate to raise it and say ‘That’s out’.
4. The I-Fisherman
I opened a beer, applied some sun-tan lotion & wore my Ray-Bans. Blue skies, calm seas & a good boat. What else could a man want? Immediately my Blackberry beeped. What did the bitch want? Another distressed client? Another deal to save?
‘Fuck off’ I said and threw it overboard.
You fat, lazy, greedy swine. How dare you ignore me? Look at me when I talk to you! Open this door right now. I was doing this before you learnt how to drive that fancy car. Ungrateful wretch. Don’t you know you’re supposed to give alms to beggars during Ramzan?
2. The New Girl
Nervous? Scared? Terrified? That’s how she felt on the first day at the new school. Groups of children stood in the corridors. Girls giggled as she passed. Boys whistled at her. ‘One last chance to run’ she told herself and entered the classroom.
‘Good morning teacher’ they screamed in glee.
3. The Judge
The judge sneered at the doomed man. He was sweating. The judge could sense the executioner running towards them from behind. The crowd bayed for blood. The man’s partner didn’t even look at him. Cowards!
The judge’s finger twitched. He was desperate to raise it and say ‘That’s out’.
4. The I-Fisherman
I opened a beer, applied some sun-tan lotion & wore my Ray-Bans. Blue skies, calm seas & a good boat. What else could a man want? Immediately my Blackberry beeped. What did the bitch want? Another distressed client? Another deal to save?
‘Fuck off’ I said and threw it overboard.
A New Beginning
Hello World,
It's a new year. A chance to make a fresh start. A chance to look back, learn from your mistakes, laugh at the good memories and move ahead. Let's forget 2008 and make the most of 2009.
Here are some things I would like to see happen in this year:
1. Manmohan Singh finally show some spine and take on the pakis.
2. Obama give a huge boost to green technology.
3. Roger Federer win BOTH the French Open & Wimbledon. (The other two don't really count)
4. My credit card bill disappear.
5. A blanket ban on whaling.
6. A decent coalition come to power at the centre after the general elections.
7. Bin Laden finally gets caught.
8. The Large Haldron Collider that CERN built actually works & they discover whatever they were looking for.
9. The second season of IPL is shorter, but just as much fun as the first.
10. Bayern Munich do well in the Champions League.
Most of these 'wishes' are at a global level. But if you really ask me, I'd settle for just wish number 4 coming true. :-)
Cheerio Folks, have a great year ahead. Keep reading, keep commenting and most importantly, keep clicking on the google ads (only those you think are relevant..wink wink).
It's a new year. A chance to make a fresh start. A chance to look back, learn from your mistakes, laugh at the good memories and move ahead. Let's forget 2008 and make the most of 2009.
Here are some things I would like to see happen in this year:
1. Manmohan Singh finally show some spine and take on the pakis.
2. Obama give a huge boost to green technology.
3. Roger Federer win BOTH the French Open & Wimbledon. (The other two don't really count)
4. My credit card bill disappear.
5. A blanket ban on whaling.
6. A decent coalition come to power at the centre after the general elections.
7. Bin Laden finally gets caught.
8. The Large Haldron Collider that CERN built actually works & they discover whatever they were looking for.
9. The second season of IPL is shorter, but just as much fun as the first.
10. Bayern Munich do well in the Champions League.
Most of these 'wishes' are at a global level. But if you really ask me, I'd settle for just wish number 4 coming true. :-)
Cheerio Folks, have a great year ahead. Keep reading, keep commenting and most importantly, keep clicking on the google ads (only those you think are relevant..wink wink).
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