I just realized that if 'work is worship', I am an atheist.
PS - Vaze, please make note of the above statement. Don't try to palm it off as yours.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
50 Word Stories - Part 2
1. The Pole
He looked at the pole at his workplace. Strong, hard, metallic, male. Every day he would wear his hat & slide on it. Girls giggled when he talked about it. They’d bat their eyelids, smile and want one thing only.
‘So mister, what’s it like to be a … fireman?’
2. Burning Flesh
She stared at the flames. They had a hypnotic effect & were mocking her. She was trapped. Why had she ever entered this room? Flesh was burning before her eyes. Something had to be done or she was doomed. Panic!
‘How’s that roast coming along?’, asked the Master Chef.
3. Waiting
Cold sweat. Racing heart beats. Dub dub dub. The excitement of what was to come. Why had they done it? Why had they waited so long? Their lives had changed forever. Anticipation. Love. Panic. Worry. Joy. Mixed emotions.
‘Congratulations, your wife just gave birth to a boy’, said the doctor.
He looked at the pole at his workplace. Strong, hard, metallic, male. Every day he would wear his hat & slide on it. Girls giggled when he talked about it. They’d bat their eyelids, smile and want one thing only.
‘So mister, what’s it like to be a … fireman?’
2. Burning Flesh
She stared at the flames. They had a hypnotic effect & were mocking her. She was trapped. Why had she ever entered this room? Flesh was burning before her eyes. Something had to be done or she was doomed. Panic!
‘How’s that roast coming along?’, asked the Master Chef.
3. Waiting
Cold sweat. Racing heart beats. Dub dub dub. The excitement of what was to come. Why had they done it? Why had they waited so long? Their lives had changed forever. Anticipation. Love. Panic. Worry. Joy. Mixed emotions.
‘Congratulations, your wife just gave birth to a boy’, said the doctor.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Football's All Time Greatest XI
Just for the heck of it, I came up with my All Time Greatest XI. It was a helluva lot of fun coming up with the list. Though, most of the players would feature in almost anyone's All Time Greatest XI.
After a lot of consideration, I opted for a 3-5-2 formation. For the uninformed, that means 3 defenders, 5 midfielders and 2 forwards. Given the talent and skill that these players possess, I guess any formation would do.
Strikers - Mueller and Pele
Attacking Midfielders - Puskas and Maradon
Wingers - Cruijff (left) and Garrincha (right)
Holding Midfielder - Matthaeus
Defenders - Maldini & Baresi
Sweeper - Beckenbaur
Goalkeeper - Yashin
Pele and Mueller were shoo ins for me. I couldn't think of anyone else to play as strikers. I think that Mueller's finishing skills are second to none. And Pele is Pele. But just in case they have an off day, I've put Puskas and Maradona as attacking midfielders right behind them. Maradona's a genius. Arguably the best footballer ever (some might say Pele), and no team would be complete without him.
Now I know that Puskas wasn't a pure midfielder, but with his talent and goal scoring abilities (84 international goals in 85 matches), I just couldn't leave him out.
The same with Cruijff. He was one of the greatest forwards to play the game. But he was also the best proponent of Total Football. So I can put him anywhere I want in the field. And he'd still run circle around his opponents :-) And Garrincha just has to be the best right winger ever. The magic he worked with those bent legs is one of the reasons why Pele won so many World Cups.
Okay, we've assembled an awesome attack. But you need someone to hold it all together. To my mind, Lothar Matthaeus is that man. He would play as a holding/defensive midfielder, protect the defenders and link up with the forwards. I think a player who won EVERYTHING except the Champions League and who Maradona called 'my greatest oppponent' gets the nod for this position.
Now, in the unlikely event that someone manages to get the ball and hold on to it for more than 2 passes, they would run into a stone wall. Maldini and Baresi would be prowling around just behind Matthaeus and would shut down any thoughts they had of crossing the half line mark. And with the Kaiser playing as sweeper, I doubt that Yashin would have much to do other than stretch around.
As you can see, this team is built for one thing - camp inside the other team's half. Unrelenting pressure, constant ball possession and mindblowing dribbling would be the way to go. Score goals, score more goals and then score even more would be the game plan.
There are a few other players I did consider. George Best, Marco van Basten, Michel Platini, Uwe Seeler, Bobby Charlton, Nilton Santos, Alfredo di Stefano, Socrates, Romario, Sepp Maier to name a few. I guess you could put together a very good team with them too. I left them out for different reasons. Best, di Stefano and van Basten mainly because while they achieved club level superstardom its the international matches which count. The others were good, very very good in fact. Its just that there were better players in those positions.
So that's my XI. Maybe you think that you can come up with a better team. Let me know. :-)
After a lot of consideration, I opted for a 3-5-2 formation. For the uninformed, that means 3 defenders, 5 midfielders and 2 forwards. Given the talent and skill that these players possess, I guess any formation would do.
Strikers - Mueller and Pele
Attacking Midfielders - Puskas and Maradon
Wingers - Cruijff (left) and Garrincha (right)
Holding Midfielder - Matthaeus
Defenders - Maldini & Baresi
Sweeper - Beckenbaur
Goalkeeper - Yashin
Pele and Mueller were shoo ins for me. I couldn't think of anyone else to play as strikers. I think that Mueller's finishing skills are second to none. And Pele is Pele. But just in case they have an off day, I've put Puskas and Maradona as attacking midfielders right behind them. Maradona's a genius. Arguably the best footballer ever (some might say Pele), and no team would be complete without him.
Now I know that Puskas wasn't a pure midfielder, but with his talent and goal scoring abilities (84 international goals in 85 matches), I just couldn't leave him out.
The same with Cruijff. He was one of the greatest forwards to play the game. But he was also the best proponent of Total Football. So I can put him anywhere I want in the field. And he'd still run circle around his opponents :-) And Garrincha just has to be the best right winger ever. The magic he worked with those bent legs is one of the reasons why Pele won so many World Cups.
Okay, we've assembled an awesome attack. But you need someone to hold it all together. To my mind, Lothar Matthaeus is that man. He would play as a holding/defensive midfielder, protect the defenders and link up with the forwards. I think a player who won EVERYTHING except the Champions League and who Maradona called 'my greatest oppponent' gets the nod for this position.
Now, in the unlikely event that someone manages to get the ball and hold on to it for more than 2 passes, they would run into a stone wall. Maldini and Baresi would be prowling around just behind Matthaeus and would shut down any thoughts they had of crossing the half line mark. And with the Kaiser playing as sweeper, I doubt that Yashin would have much to do other than stretch around.
As you can see, this team is built for one thing - camp inside the other team's half. Unrelenting pressure, constant ball possession and mindblowing dribbling would be the way to go. Score goals, score more goals and then score even more would be the game plan.
There are a few other players I did consider. George Best, Marco van Basten, Michel Platini, Uwe Seeler, Bobby Charlton, Nilton Santos, Alfredo di Stefano, Socrates, Romario, Sepp Maier to name a few. I guess you could put together a very good team with them too. I left them out for different reasons. Best, di Stefano and van Basten mainly because while they achieved club level superstardom its the international matches which count. The others were good, very very good in fact. Its just that there were better players in those positions.
So that's my XI. Maybe you think that you can come up with a better team. Let me know. :-)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Lyrical Poetry - Part 1
Hey Andy, did you hear about this one?
I’ve fallen in love for the first time.
I don't know where my soul is,
Said I loved you but I lied.
I’m living in a dream, a fantasy
I have become comfortably numb.
I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She took me in and gave me breakfast.
And she left before I had the chance to say,
I don't wanna be lonely no more.
I take my chance on a beautiful stranger,
If that's the way it must be, okay.
How can I tell her about you?
Because it ain't no use.
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down,
And all that's left is that image that I'll find a way.
I just can't believe that it's over,
I'd turn around if you'd just ask me one more time
Before you think I have completely lost it and have gone from being a bad writer to a horrible poet, allow me to explain myself. I didn't pen the lines above. They are taken from different songs. I just created a collage of words of sorts. And tried to make some kind of sense of it. :-)
The songs in the same order are:
First Para
1. Man on the Moon - R.E.M.
2. I Want to Break Free - Queen
3. I am Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
4. Said I Loved You - Michael Bolton
5. Dreamer - Ozzy Osbourne
6. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Second Para
1. Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
2. Down Under - Men at Work
3. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
4. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas
5. Beautiful Stranger - Maddona
6. Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Third Para
1. How Can I Tell Her - Lobo
2. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
3. I Can't Quit You - Led Zeppelin
4. Don't Stop - The Rolling Stones
5. So Long Jimmy - James Blunt
6. Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer - Kenny Rogers
I’ve fallen in love for the first time.
I don't know where my soul is,
Said I loved you but I lied.
I’m living in a dream, a fantasy
I have become comfortably numb.
I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She took me in and gave me breakfast.
And she left before I had the chance to say,
I don't wanna be lonely no more.
I take my chance on a beautiful stranger,
If that's the way it must be, okay.
How can I tell her about you?
Because it ain't no use.
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down,
And all that's left is that image that I'll find a way.
I just can't believe that it's over,
I'd turn around if you'd just ask me one more time
Before you think I have completely lost it and have gone from being a bad writer to a horrible poet, allow me to explain myself. I didn't pen the lines above. They are taken from different songs. I just created a collage of words of sorts. And tried to make some kind of sense of it. :-)
The songs in the same order are:
First Para
1. Man on the Moon - R.E.M.
2. I Want to Break Free - Queen
3. I am Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
4. Said I Loved You - Michael Bolton
5. Dreamer - Ozzy Osbourne
6. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Second Para
1. Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
2. Down Under - Men at Work
3. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
4. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas
5. Beautiful Stranger - Maddona
6. Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Third Para
1. How Can I Tell Her - Lobo
2. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
3. I Can't Quit You - Led Zeppelin
4. Don't Stop - The Rolling Stones
5. So Long Jimmy - James Blunt
6. Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer - Kenny Rogers
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Save Rani Bagh
In spite of Tata Tea's best efforts I have decided that I will not register to vote. No, it's not because I am what the ancient Greeks would call and 'idiot' (someone who does not exercise his right to vote). Actually, I am what a lot of modern Indians would call an idiot, but that is a different story. The reason I have chosen not to vote is that I don't see the point of it.
Okay, before you start screaming that every vote counts let me clarify that I like the concept of universal franchise and democracy. I also believe that people should vote. In principle. But this morning I realised that there are other problems, bigger and more pressing, that I would rather help resolve. The environment to begin with. I think that what we are doing to the environment will have a much more severe and long term impact than deciding which party deserves your vote. A 100 years from now people will curse/thank us for who we voted for in the elections of 2009, but they will curse/thank us for what we did to save the planet.
So I have chosen a cause. You might argue that saving the environment has nothing to do with exercising your vote. And you're probably right. But I just don't give a rat's ass about which crook and his/her bunch of thugs comes to power. They are all the same. Now that's my stance. You're welcome to choose your own line of action.
As the first step towards trying to clean up this mess, I have signed an online petition to save Rani Bagh Botanical Gardens in Mumbai. Its a small step, but it is something at least.
Turns out that the Muncipal Corporation in Bombay wants to modernize this park which was set up in 1861. A noble thought, especially if you consider that they are willing to spend Rs. 433 Crores and pay a Thai and an American company to do it. Really, a noble thought.
Turns out that they planned to lop off most of the 3,177 and build a new aquarium, theatre, and exploration centre, car park, staff quarters, and expansion of the animal hospital. When the plan was opposed by environmentalists and conscientious bureaucrats (S.K. Patnaik and Dr. Rommel Mehta), the Central Zoo Authority told the BMC not to fell a single tree. However, the Machiavellian babus managed to get the order amended to state that 'diseased' trees could be felled.
Diseased trees! How about shooting diseased babus as well?
Anyway, the fight is still going on between the forces of good and the BMC. You can do your bit by signing this online petition. It barely takes 30 seconds. I know, coz I did it. And it beats standing in line outside a voting booth anyday.
Okay, before you start screaming that every vote counts let me clarify that I like the concept of universal franchise and democracy. I also believe that people should vote. In principle. But this morning I realised that there are other problems, bigger and more pressing, that I would rather help resolve. The environment to begin with. I think that what we are doing to the environment will have a much more severe and long term impact than deciding which party deserves your vote. A 100 years from now people will curse/thank us for who we voted for in the elections of 2009, but they will curse/thank us for what we did to save the planet.
So I have chosen a cause. You might argue that saving the environment has nothing to do with exercising your vote. And you're probably right. But I just don't give a rat's ass about which crook and his/her bunch of thugs comes to power. They are all the same. Now that's my stance. You're welcome to choose your own line of action.
As the first step towards trying to clean up this mess, I have signed an online petition to save Rani Bagh Botanical Gardens in Mumbai. Its a small step, but it is something at least.
Turns out that the Muncipal Corporation in Bombay wants to modernize this park which was set up in 1861. A noble thought, especially if you consider that they are willing to spend Rs. 433 Crores and pay a Thai and an American company to do it. Really, a noble thought.
Turns out that they planned to lop off most of the 3,177 and build a new aquarium, theatre, and exploration centre, car park, staff quarters, and expansion of the animal hospital. When the plan was opposed by environmentalists and conscientious bureaucrats (S.K. Patnaik and Dr. Rommel Mehta), the Central Zoo Authority told the BMC not to fell a single tree. However, the Machiavellian babus managed to get the order amended to state that 'diseased' trees could be felled.
Diseased trees! How about shooting diseased babus as well?
Anyway, the fight is still going on between the forces of good and the BMC. You can do your bit by signing this online petition. It barely takes 30 seconds. I know, coz I did it. And it beats standing in line outside a voting booth anyday.
Monday, February 09, 2009
About Me
I started this blog to write about myself. Along the way, I realized that people also like to read stuff about less interesting topics. (Smile). It suddenly struck me that it's been a while since I wrote something about yours truly. So here is a post that just about me.
Hold your breath, here we go...
1. I have studied in 8 different schools from the first grade to the twelfth. My favourite school was K.V. Arakkonam. Played the toughest sports, made the best of friends and ran after the prettiest of girls.
2. I learnt to ride my bike and drive my car after I bought both.
3. I have never given an interview and not got the job. I have also never been selected from a group discussion.
4. Someday I'll work for Greenpeace.
5. I've been lucky with friends. My best friends have invariably been smarter, kinder, more popular, wiser and truer than me.
6. I think that there will be more dogs in heaven than people. I also think that they will be happy to see me.
7. I have read Lord of the Rings thrice.
8. If I didn't wear specs, I could have become a navy fighter pilot.
9. I am right handed, except when it comes to holding a guitar, a rifle or a bow.
10. I have been house captain 4 times in school. Yet I can't remember the name of the house I was captain of in 12th standard.
11. I used to play as a central midfielder for the football team in college. I wore the number 13 jersey.
12. I can't play a musical instrument to save my life. And I doubt I can ever learn. You see, I am TONE deaf.
13. Till 6 months ago I didn't know the basics of cooking. Now, my friends' wives lecture their husbands about how they should learn from me. My friends secretly tell me that their wives ought to learn too.
14. I believe in true love. I just wonder if I'll be lucky enough to find it.
15. I think I should stop now.
Hold your breath, here we go...
1. I have studied in 8 different schools from the first grade to the twelfth. My favourite school was K.V. Arakkonam. Played the toughest sports, made the best of friends and ran after the prettiest of girls.
2. I learnt to ride my bike and drive my car after I bought both.
3. I have never given an interview and not got the job. I have also never been selected from a group discussion.
4. Someday I'll work for Greenpeace.
5. I've been lucky with friends. My best friends have invariably been smarter, kinder, more popular, wiser and truer than me.
6. I think that there will be more dogs in heaven than people. I also think that they will be happy to see me.
7. I have read Lord of the Rings thrice.
8. If I didn't wear specs, I could have become a navy fighter pilot.
9. I am right handed, except when it comes to holding a guitar, a rifle or a bow.
10. I have been house captain 4 times in school. Yet I can't remember the name of the house I was captain of in 12th standard.
11. I used to play as a central midfielder for the football team in college. I wore the number 13 jersey.
12. I can't play a musical instrument to save my life. And I doubt I can ever learn. You see, I am TONE deaf.
13. Till 6 months ago I didn't know the basics of cooking. Now, my friends' wives lecture their husbands about how they should learn from me. My friends secretly tell me that their wives ought to learn too.
14. I believe in true love. I just wonder if I'll be lucky enough to find it.
15. I think I should stop now.
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