Funny Football Quotes - Part 2

After hearing MSD put his foot in his mouth about stopping at colourful areas, I thought it was time to dig up some funny football quotes again. Turns out that cricketers aren't the only ones who put their mouth into motion, before brain into gear.

1. "Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes."
David Pleat on Hristo Stoichkov. Talk about dagger eyes....

2. "Robert Lee was able to do some running on his groin for the first time."
Glenn Hoddle on Robert Lee and something that's either impossible or unbelievably masochist.

3. "It's a conflict of parallels."
Alex Ferguson on conflicts. Mathematicians go figure out this one.

4. "I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in."
Terry Venables on his emotions after the opponents scored. Sounds like he's been reading Letters to the Penthouse.

5. "Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that."
Ron Atkinson on Argentina. Ummm.. aren't we forgetting something?

6. "You either win or you lose. There's no in between."
Terry Venables on winning and losing. And hey, what about draws? You know.. 0-0, 1-1, 2-2.... ?

7. "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Mark Viduka on winning the league. How you gonna do that Einstein??

8. "The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath."
Terry Butcher on cup football/soccer. Jack.... David's lesser known cousin.

9. "Apart from their goals, Norway wouldn't have scored."
Terry Venables on Norway. Yes, they would have gone on a Viking plundering raid.

10. "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."
Ade Akinbiyi on George Ndah. This one is my favourite. Talk about getting lost while watching a game!

And we still insist that they be role models for our kids. Come on guys, they are sportsmen. They have super fit bodies and excellent marketing teams. They are not brainiacs who are saints.

Now can we please cut Tiger Woods some slack?