Trouble Sleeping

I have been sleeping too much off late. Way too much. In fact, the other day I went to sleep at 2130 hours and got up at 0730 today. That’s ten hours of time spent in dreamy dream land. Not impressed? Try this then. Over the years I have got so attuned to having my cell phone around me that I can hear it or feel the vibration no matter how fast asleep I may have been. Or at least that was the case till yesterday.

Cuz when I got up at 0325 and found myself lying parallel, and next to the head of the bed, I checked my ever present phone and found 3 text messages and 1 missed call. (Please don’t get sidetracked as to why I was sleeping parallel to the bed, I just was). I was surprised cuz this has never happened before. In fact, there have been numerous occasions when I have woken up from some very pleasant dreams because ICICI/HDFC/Citi Bank thought it fit to tell me that my balance on Sunday morning was Rs 257.65. (Why don’t the idiots who run the batch job realize that people like to sleep in on a Sunday morning?).

Anyway, back to my sleeping troubles tragedy. One of the texts was from my bro, the other from my ex-roommate from Delhi and the third from a beautiful woman whom I adore. (The call was from my bro, not her). And surprise, surprise I had even switched off my alarm at 0545 and gone back to dozy land. Which again, is very unlike me.

Maybe this is my body rebelling against the strict regime that I have been subjecting it to in the last few weeks. I can imagine a meeting of all the (millions of) fat cells. They are all screaming, ‘Where the @#$%&* is the KFC and the beer?’…. ‘What are those idiots sitting in the brain doing? We haven’t been fed properly in weeks’…. ‘We are being taxed to death. Look at how much energy the muscles are demanding from us’. So finally one of them must have said ‘Okay, let’s sabotage this entire programme by getting the cells who are responsible for sleep management on our side’. And viola, next thing you know I am sleeping through what should have been time spent at the gym!

You think it’s plausible? I think that it might be. The truth will come out when my thumbs start to get suspicious about the lack of late night smsing and launch an enquiry. The battle of the bulge might just have begun.