Rules of Alcohol Consumption

Came across some rules that might have come to make a lot of sense to me after years of pubbing and even more years of hangovers... :

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
3. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.
4. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
5. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
6. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—piddling, waiting in line or washing your hands. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.
7. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
8. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
9. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
10. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
11. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.
12. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
13. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
14. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from Scotland every morning.
15. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
16. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.