Where: Ranthambore, Rajasthan
Nearest Airport: Jaipur (~150 Kms)
Nearest Railway Station: Sawai Madhopur (8 Kms from National Park)
When: 11th to 14th May 2011
Group Size: 9 People
Stayed At: Ankur Resorts, Sawai Madhopur (Rs. 2000 per room per night – Non Peak Season Rates)
Transport:
Flew to Jaipur from Hyderabad by Jet Airways & landed at 1:20 PM. Took an Innova to Sawai Madhopur which is approx 150 kms from Jaipur. The Innova cost us Rs. 3,500/- and took almost 4hours. Actually it shouldn’t have taken so long but the driver insisted on taking us via a ‘short cut’. While he may have saved on the distance, it took us longer to get to Sawai Madhopur.
Went back to Delhi on the August Kranti Rajdhani which we took from Sawai Madhopur Railway Station. Boarded the train at 6:30 AM and were at Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway Station by 11:00 AM.
Camera: Nikon D3000 with a 50-200mm VR lens
Safaris:
Usually the timings are 6:00 AM to 9:30 AM for the morning safari and 3:00 PM to 6:30 PM for the afternoon one. But since there was a tiger census on, the morning safari got delayed by an hour.
Our group was only interested in the safaris, so we booked both the morning & afternoon safaris. While I’ve heard that the walk to Ranthambore Fort is a good one, we opted not to take it. We were lucky to get Zone 2 & Zone 3 on both days.
Day 1:
In the morning, our first safari was Zone 3 which is the most picturesque of the zones with 3 large lakes. Interestingly, we didn’t spot a tiger on either of the days in this zone. But we did see crocodiles, wild boar, spotted deer (Chital), Sambar Deer, Peacocks and many different kinds of smaller birds. Zone 3 also contains the famous lake palace ruins where the tigress Machali fought, and lost to, her daughter for this prize territory. This being my first safari, I got excited with all the animals around and went a little crazy with my camera. And since I was shooting in RAW mode, I ran out of memory space though I was using a 4GB card. A friend had a Nikon Binoculars which really helped us spot the birds, and is a must have on any safari.
We got back to our hotel for a quick lunch, rested for a bit and then headed out for the second safari of the day which was in Zone 2. This time we were lucky and managed to see a leopard at the entrance of the park. I was told that seeing a leopard stalking on the ground is quite rare and most leopard sightings are on trees. Though we had seen deer and crocodiles, the leopard was something else altogether and it really perked up the group. A little later we came across another gypsy and the guide told us that a tigress had been sighted further down the road. As beautiful as the leopard was, the excitement of seeing a tigress made us all forget the leopard. And we weren’t disappointed when we came up to the spot where the tigress T39 was resting. This time I forgot to change my camera settings from JPEG back to RAW, a beginners mistake. Though she was not too far off, there was a lot of jungle undergrowth and hence I wasn’t able to get any great pictures. On the way back, we spotted two owls in the distance and took pictures of them.
Needless to say, the group’s mood in the evening was great and everyone had a good time. Seasoned safari goers tell me that the tiger sighting to happiness ratio is 1:3. Which means that if you don’t see a tiger for 3 safaris, people tend to get cranky. They also told me that you usually see a tiger once every 4-5 safaris.
Day 2:
The next morning we were allotted Zone 2 again. Feeling like a ‘veteran’, I decided to be choosy about taking pictures. And promptly forgot about this when we were told that the same tigress was in the area again. Our guide and driver were old hands at tiger spotting and went to different spots where they thought she might be, including driving along the river bed. Just when we were beginning to think that she had left the area, our guide doubled back to the first spot and told us to be quiet. The thrill that I felt when he leaped up from his seat and shouted ‘Tiger’ was like nothing I have ever felt. The earlier day, T39 had already been spotted by other gypsies and was simply sitting around. This time we were the first group to see her and she was just emerging from some tall grasses on the far bank of a small stream. We were very very lucky as she crossed over to our side of the stream and sat under a tree near us. At one point she was too close for comfort, and though I didn’t realize it then, our guide did and took us away. It is at such moments, that tourists have to trust the judgment of the guides. We tend to forget that tigers are wild animals and shouldn’t be taken for granted. After taking many pictures of T39, we headed to another part of Zone 2 where we were told T17, another tigress, was resting. Unfortunately we didn’t get to see her because of the thick undergrowth.
Once we got back to the resort, there was a brief discussion on whether or not we should go for the last safari that afternoon. Some of us wanted to leave for Jaipur but since the majority of the group was still on a tiger high, we decided to hang around for another safari.
This time we got Zone 3 again. Having seen a tigress twice in the earlier two safaris, we knew the odds were against us. So the group was relaxed and we spent more time joking amongst ourselves. In fact, the highlight of the trip was a tourist in another gypsy who got named ‘Burst Man’ since he kept taking pictures in burst mode – even when he was shooting stationary birds. Our guides also realized that we were not interested in the usual discourse and focused on driving us around. We hung around till 6:30 PM and then reluctantly headed back to the resort.
The next morning, some of us caught the August Kranti Rajdhani Express to Hazrat Nizamuddin Station in New Delhi while the rest headed to Jaipur.
My Takeaways:
Ranthambore National Park is very well organized, and my friends told me it is the best run park that they have seen. This was my first safari and based on this limited experience, I would like the share the following points with anyone who is interested in Ranthambore:
1. Listen to your guide. They know their job so please don’t second guess them or tell them what to do. If your guide says you are too close to a tiger, you better listen to him.
2. Be respectful to rangers, guards and anyone working in the forest. It’s thanks to them that we can still see these beautiful animals.
3. Unless you have a very good reason and the park is not full, do not expect that you can argue or bribe your way into changing your zone. Most people want to go to Zone 2 & Zone 3 but each zone has a fixed quota of vehicles and if that has already been met then you can’t change it.
4. If seeing wildlife is your main focus, go during the summer months. The jungle is sparse & animals are easy to spot. Plus, once you’re in the gypsy you don’t really feel the heat.
5. Remember that spotting a tiger, or any animal for that matter, is about luck. Your guide will do his best so that you see a tiger (his tip depends on it), but nothing is guaranteed. If you don’t agree with this, go to a zoo next time.
6. Book your safaris online well in advance. Do not depend on landing up at the park and expecting to get a vehicle.
7. Better to book multiple gypsies, if your group is large, than a canter. Gypsies are more mobile and can go to places where the canter can’t.
8. Make sure that everyone is carrying the same ID proof as given at the time of booking & one indemnity form per safari. You will need to show your ID proof each time before entering the park.
9. If you aren’t carrying a cap or a hat (like me), check with your resort if they sell these items. I picked up a hat for Rs.200 and a photographer’s jacked for Rs. 400. Both were of good quality and came in handy, especially the hat. As a last resort you can always buy it at the gate. But please cover your head.
10. Carry at least 4 litres of water for 6 people. It is unfair to ask the guides or jungle patrols for water.
11. Turn your phones off before you enter the park. It will save your battery as in most places there isn’t any signal.
12. A good binocular really comes in handy on these safaris. Sometimes a bird or animal may be too far away to photograph, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look at it and enjoy its beauty.
13. Most guides will not cross over into other zones, even if it means forgoing the chance to show you a tiger. The reason is that if caught, they will lose their licenses. So please, respect the rules and don’t put someone else’s livelihood in danger.
14. If you can, come via Delhi. Book train from Delhi to Sawai Madhopur. It is cheaper, shorter and lot easier to coordinate. The railway station is about 5 minutes from most of the resorts .
15. Don’t get down from the vehicle. Ranthambore is very strict about this rule and breaking it will only cause trouble between you and the guide or for the guide if a forest ranger spots you doing so.
16. When you are leaving the park, your vehicle will stop at the base of the fort. Be careful at this point as there are monkeys around and since you are tired, you may leave something lying around which they could snatch.
Photography Takeaways:
1. Anything less than a 300mm zoom lens and you’re wasting your time. I was lucky to get decent pics of T39 with the 50-200mm, but a 70-300mm lens would have been better.
2. Use JPEG mode for the ‘regular’ animals – deer, peacocks, birds and save memory space. Use RAW mode when (or if) you come across the rarer animals – tigers, leopards or sloths.
3. ISO 100 is enough for most situations. No need to push a higher ISO unless the light is bad
4. Don’t get so excited about taking pictures that you come in the way of your fellow passengers. Remember, they are just as excited as you.
5. Unless you’ve been on many safaris, there is a good chance that you will take many more pictures than you normally do. So carry extra memory, doesn’t hurt.
Well, that’s it folks. My first safari. Can’t wait for my next one.
If you're interested in seeing the pictures I took, here's the link to my Facebook Album.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, June 14, 2010
Teaching them to Learn
It is that time of the year. When school bags are taken out of the cupboard and dusted, new uniforms are stitched, stationary bought, notebooks covered with brown paper, holiday homework hurriedly completed. Its school time folks!
The monsoons usher in a new year for children. Gone is the joy of summer vacations – endless TV & video games, getting up late, hanging out at malls and playing cricket in the afternoon. It is now time for homework, tests, grades and tuition classes. The holidays are over kids, let’s get back to the ‘real’ world. It’s my guess that right now there are children all over India dreading the thought of going back to school.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Learning should be fun and not regimented. Children should want to come back to school. If they have to glance at their calendars and sigh it should be because they miss their friends and teachers and can’t wait to meet them. Not because they feel stressed out at the thought of all the tuitions and exams waiting for them. We take the best years of a human being’s life and turn it into a rat race. I remember my school teachers frightening the hell out of me by saying that if I didn’t do well in my 12th standard boards I would end up on the road to Loserville. I don’t doubt that they meant well and wanted me to do something worthwhile with my life. But by their lofty standards I bombed in my 12th and yet life didn’t come to an end. I still went to an engineering college (albeit not a great one), I still got into the stream that I wanted (Mechanical Engineering rocks) and I did decently there (First Class with Distinction). Looking back I think it’s horrible to tell a child that their entire life revolves around one month of exams. What we’re basically doing is taking a young mind and putting it through stress levels that most adults couldn’t handle.
Childhood should be a time of fun. Of learning just for the sake of learning. Of exploring the world without having to worry about grades, admissions and careers. We should encourage children to dream. At some point in our lives all of us wanted to be either cricketers, or tennis players, or writers, or journalists, or musicians, or mathematicians, or fighter pilots. While life may not allow everyone to attain those dreams I think that there’s no harm in chasing those dreams. A 12 year old child should be encouraged to think that she can become whoever she wants to be. There’ll be a time for the reality checks that adolescence brings, but not now. Not yet.
When I look at my cousin, who is 10 years younger than me, and her friends I realize that the system has allowed them a lot more freedom than people in my generation had. We were told, “Science? Engineer or Doctor. Commerce? CA. Arts? Oh... ummm... See you around”. Luckily that isn’t true anymore. More parents are open to the idea of ‘alternate’ careers. Many schools have counsellors who guide children about the various career streams available. Things are changing for the better but there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. For every progressive school that encourages its wards to be all they can be there are thousands which continue to churn out children who know every lesson in their text books and yet next to nothing about how to deal with the tests that life will put them through.
Right now we simply teach children how to solve quadratic equations, synthesise complex organic chemistry molecules (on paper) and memorise the internal cell structure of microbes. Instead they should learn how mathematics is applied to different fields – geology, automobile engineering, fundamental particle research. They should know of the uses (and dangers) of organic chemistry and how it has shaped our world. Children should be aware that life is a lot more complex than molecules bumping around inside cell walls and that even the best scientists do not fully understand how it works.
Call me an idealist if you want. Accuse me of an ivory tower address, a head in the cloud mentality. But hey, the challenges and problems that our children will inherit from us will be far more difficult than the ones we’ve managed to sweep under the carpet. How about we allow them to enjoy themselves while they can and still try and equip them with the tools that they will need to clear up our mess?
As Cat Stevens said, “I know we’ve come a long way. We’re changing day to do. But tell me, where do the children play?”.
The monsoons usher in a new year for children. Gone is the joy of summer vacations – endless TV & video games, getting up late, hanging out at malls and playing cricket in the afternoon. It is now time for homework, tests, grades and tuition classes. The holidays are over kids, let’s get back to the ‘real’ world. It’s my guess that right now there are children all over India dreading the thought of going back to school.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Learning should be fun and not regimented. Children should want to come back to school. If they have to glance at their calendars and sigh it should be because they miss their friends and teachers and can’t wait to meet them. Not because they feel stressed out at the thought of all the tuitions and exams waiting for them. We take the best years of a human being’s life and turn it into a rat race. I remember my school teachers frightening the hell out of me by saying that if I didn’t do well in my 12th standard boards I would end up on the road to Loserville. I don’t doubt that they meant well and wanted me to do something worthwhile with my life. But by their lofty standards I bombed in my 12th and yet life didn’t come to an end. I still went to an engineering college (albeit not a great one), I still got into the stream that I wanted (Mechanical Engineering rocks) and I did decently there (First Class with Distinction). Looking back I think it’s horrible to tell a child that their entire life revolves around one month of exams. What we’re basically doing is taking a young mind and putting it through stress levels that most adults couldn’t handle.
Childhood should be a time of fun. Of learning just for the sake of learning. Of exploring the world without having to worry about grades, admissions and careers. We should encourage children to dream. At some point in our lives all of us wanted to be either cricketers, or tennis players, or writers, or journalists, or musicians, or mathematicians, or fighter pilots. While life may not allow everyone to attain those dreams I think that there’s no harm in chasing those dreams. A 12 year old child should be encouraged to think that she can become whoever she wants to be. There’ll be a time for the reality checks that adolescence brings, but not now. Not yet.
When I look at my cousin, who is 10 years younger than me, and her friends I realize that the system has allowed them a lot more freedom than people in my generation had. We were told, “Science? Engineer or Doctor. Commerce? CA. Arts? Oh... ummm... See you around”. Luckily that isn’t true anymore. More parents are open to the idea of ‘alternate’ careers. Many schools have counsellors who guide children about the various career streams available. Things are changing for the better but there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. For every progressive school that encourages its wards to be all they can be there are thousands which continue to churn out children who know every lesson in their text books and yet next to nothing about how to deal with the tests that life will put them through.
Right now we simply teach children how to solve quadratic equations, synthesise complex organic chemistry molecules (on paper) and memorise the internal cell structure of microbes. Instead they should learn how mathematics is applied to different fields – geology, automobile engineering, fundamental particle research. They should know of the uses (and dangers) of organic chemistry and how it has shaped our world. Children should be aware that life is a lot more complex than molecules bumping around inside cell walls and that even the best scientists do not fully understand how it works.
Call me an idealist if you want. Accuse me of an ivory tower address, a head in the cloud mentality. But hey, the challenges and problems that our children will inherit from us will be far more difficult than the ones we’ve managed to sweep under the carpet. How about we allow them to enjoy themselves while they can and still try and equip them with the tools that they will need to clear up our mess?
As Cat Stevens said, “I know we’ve come a long way. We’re changing day to do. But tell me, where do the children play?”.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Funny Football Quotes - Part 2
After hearing MSD put his foot in his mouth about stopping at colourful areas, I thought it was time to dig up some funny football quotes again. Turns out that cricketers aren't the only ones who put their mouth into motion, before brain into gear.
1. "Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes."
David Pleat on Hristo Stoichkov. Talk about dagger eyes....
2. "Robert Lee was able to do some running on his groin for the first time."
Glenn Hoddle on Robert Lee and something that's either impossible or unbelievably masochist.
3. "It's a conflict of parallels."
Alex Ferguson on conflicts. Mathematicians go figure out this one.
4. "I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in."
Terry Venables on his emotions after the opponents scored. Sounds like he's been reading Letters to the Penthouse.
5. "Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that."
Ron Atkinson on Argentina. Ummm.. aren't we forgetting something?
6. "You either win or you lose. There's no in between."
Terry Venables on winning and losing. And hey, what about draws? You know.. 0-0, 1-1, 2-2.... ?
7. "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Mark Viduka on winning the league. How you gonna do that Einstein??
8. "The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath."
Terry Butcher on cup football/soccer. Jack.... David's lesser known cousin.
9. "Apart from their goals, Norway wouldn't have scored."
Terry Venables on Norway. Yes, they would have gone on a Viking plundering raid.
10. "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."
Ade Akinbiyi on George Ndah. This one is my favourite. Talk about getting lost while watching a game!
And we still insist that they be role models for our kids. Come on guys, they are sportsmen. They have super fit bodies and excellent marketing teams. They are not brainiacs who are saints.
Now can we please cut Tiger Woods some slack?
1. "Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes."
David Pleat on Hristo Stoichkov. Talk about dagger eyes....
2. "Robert Lee was able to do some running on his groin for the first time."
Glenn Hoddle on Robert Lee and something that's either impossible or unbelievably masochist.
3. "It's a conflict of parallels."
Alex Ferguson on conflicts. Mathematicians go figure out this one.
4. "I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in."
Terry Venables on his emotions after the opponents scored. Sounds like he's been reading Letters to the Penthouse.
5. "Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that."
Ron Atkinson on Argentina. Ummm.. aren't we forgetting something?
6. "You either win or you lose. There's no in between."
Terry Venables on winning and losing. And hey, what about draws? You know.. 0-0, 1-1, 2-2.... ?
7. "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Mark Viduka on winning the league. How you gonna do that Einstein??
8. "The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath."
Terry Butcher on cup football/soccer. Jack.... David's lesser known cousin.
9. "Apart from their goals, Norway wouldn't have scored."
Terry Venables on Norway. Yes, they would have gone on a Viking plundering raid.
10. "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."
Ade Akinbiyi on George Ndah. This one is my favourite. Talk about getting lost while watching a game!
And we still insist that they be role models for our kids. Come on guys, they are sportsmen. They have super fit bodies and excellent marketing teams. They are not brainiacs who are saints.
Now can we please cut Tiger Woods some slack?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Delusions
Ever so often one hears of some defamation suit being filed or protest being held because someone’s sentiments were hurt. Oh really? Oh reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyy?
Why is it that the ‘leaders’ and social busybodies who claim to represent those whose sentiments were hurt never get angry about other things as well?
Why don’t they get angry about the poverty in this country? Or the filth in which most of our people live? Or the fact that even after 60 years of Independence we still do not have anything close to 100% literacy (am not even talking about education.. just literacy)? Why don’t they protest about people being malnourished while food grains rot in the Government’s godowns? Doesn’t the site of the widows of slain soldiers weeping on national TV make them want to do anything about this country’s security issues?
I’ll tell you why.
It’s because we’re a bunch of hypocrites. A nation of whiners and over-sensitive adolescents masquerading as adults. The only time we act tough is when we’re in a mob.
We like to talk. About our glorious ancient culture, about how democracy has failed us when we compare ourselves to China, anything that makes our cushy little worlds a little less cushy. Oh yes we like to talk. Getting out of our armchairs and doing something to help is something that we’re not up for. The only time we’ll get out of our chairs is protest about something that hurts our sentiments.
Awwww. Don’t feel bad.
Feel ashamed.
Ashamed that we cling to twin illusions of ‘safety in numbers’ (hope they get the guy next to me instead) and ‘ostrich mentality’ (as long as my family and friends are okay, who cares what happens in some far off village). History tends to repeat itself in our land. The same scams, the same corrupt politicians, the same gullible electorate and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... the same inefficient, inaccessible, unaccountable system.
H.L. Mencken said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”. I think the same sad truth could apply to us as well. Our leaders prefer rabble rousing and mob justice to judicial and constitutional channels. Their logic is impeccable. Why spend years fighting for something when you can grab it right away? All you need is to convince the people that in some way their culture, religion, caste or these days – statehood has been insulted.
And this is why the system doesn’t work. Everyone wants to take, no one wants to give back. We demand our constitutional rights, but how about our duties? Duties to ourselves and to those less fortunate than us.
We have one of the world’s largest population of those who live below the, outrageously named, ‘poverty line’. And yet we feel proud when we see 4.. or 5.. or 2.. who cares... Indians being named in the list of richest people in the world. Isn’t there something fundamentally wrong about feeling proud at the sight of obscene wealth & yet being indifferent to obscene poverty? Hypocrites I tell you.
Now take literacy. Most of us have been born after Independence. Which means we were born to a sovereign and independent country which claimed to be socialistic as well. Or at least some of us were. There are many others who were born into the same feudalistic, caste riddled, male dominated societies that their ancestors lived in hundreds of years ago. Which probably explains why we have such a pathetic record when it comes to improving literacy.
We want to host the Olympics, while we can’t put together a decent hockey team.
We want the world to recognize us as an emerging superpower. Yet we can’t convict a terrorist who was caught on CCTV shooting people, including a policeman.
We take pride in the fact that our economy was resilient during the Great Recession. But don’t seem to mind that most of this ‘resilience’ was due to the parallel economy.
We want to be a destination for medical tourism but don’t think it’s necessary to provide basic healthcare to our own countrymen who can’t afford it.
We believe that we have a glorious past, but think nothing of scratching our names on the walls of the monuments that were built during that glorious past.
We get touchy when our neighbour hurts our sentiments, but we don’t mind if the Chinese treat us with disdain; mainly because we bend over backwards to not antagonise them.
At the end of it all, I don’t think that we suffer from delusions of grandeur. We suffer from delusions of competence.
Why is it that the ‘leaders’ and social busybodies who claim to represent those whose sentiments were hurt never get angry about other things as well?
Why don’t they get angry about the poverty in this country? Or the filth in which most of our people live? Or the fact that even after 60 years of Independence we still do not have anything close to 100% literacy (am not even talking about education.. just literacy)? Why don’t they protest about people being malnourished while food grains rot in the Government’s godowns? Doesn’t the site of the widows of slain soldiers weeping on national TV make them want to do anything about this country’s security issues?
I’ll tell you why.
It’s because we’re a bunch of hypocrites. A nation of whiners and over-sensitive adolescents masquerading as adults. The only time we act tough is when we’re in a mob.
We like to talk. About our glorious ancient culture, about how democracy has failed us when we compare ourselves to China, anything that makes our cushy little worlds a little less cushy. Oh yes we like to talk. Getting out of our armchairs and doing something to help is something that we’re not up for. The only time we’ll get out of our chairs is protest about something that hurts our sentiments.
Awwww. Don’t feel bad.
Feel ashamed.
Ashamed that we cling to twin illusions of ‘safety in numbers’ (hope they get the guy next to me instead) and ‘ostrich mentality’ (as long as my family and friends are okay, who cares what happens in some far off village). History tends to repeat itself in our land. The same scams, the same corrupt politicians, the same gullible electorate and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... the same inefficient, inaccessible, unaccountable system.
H.L. Mencken said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”. I think the same sad truth could apply to us as well. Our leaders prefer rabble rousing and mob justice to judicial and constitutional channels. Their logic is impeccable. Why spend years fighting for something when you can grab it right away? All you need is to convince the people that in some way their culture, religion, caste or these days – statehood has been insulted.
And this is why the system doesn’t work. Everyone wants to take, no one wants to give back. We demand our constitutional rights, but how about our duties? Duties to ourselves and to those less fortunate than us.
We have one of the world’s largest population of those who live below the, outrageously named, ‘poverty line’. And yet we feel proud when we see 4.. or 5.. or 2.. who cares... Indians being named in the list of richest people in the world. Isn’t there something fundamentally wrong about feeling proud at the sight of obscene wealth & yet being indifferent to obscene poverty? Hypocrites I tell you.
Now take literacy. Most of us have been born after Independence. Which means we were born to a sovereign and independent country which claimed to be socialistic as well. Or at least some of us were. There are many others who were born into the same feudalistic, caste riddled, male dominated societies that their ancestors lived in hundreds of years ago. Which probably explains why we have such a pathetic record when it comes to improving literacy.
We want to host the Olympics, while we can’t put together a decent hockey team.
We want the world to recognize us as an emerging superpower. Yet we can’t convict a terrorist who was caught on CCTV shooting people, including a policeman.
We take pride in the fact that our economy was resilient during the Great Recession. But don’t seem to mind that most of this ‘resilience’ was due to the parallel economy.
We want to be a destination for medical tourism but don’t think it’s necessary to provide basic healthcare to our own countrymen who can’t afford it.
We believe that we have a glorious past, but think nothing of scratching our names on the walls of the monuments that were built during that glorious past.
We get touchy when our neighbour hurts our sentiments, but we don’t mind if the Chinese treat us with disdain; mainly because we bend over backwards to not antagonise them.
At the end of it all, I don’t think that we suffer from delusions of grandeur. We suffer from delusions of competence.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
A New Beginning - 2010
Here’s a list of things that I had asked for in 2009. Let’s see how many of them were answered.
1. Manmohan Singh finally show some spine and take on the pakis.
Verdict: Not really happening. We’re still a soft nation waiting to get whacked. Still, at least there haven’t been any more 26/11 type fiascos.
2. Obama give a huge boost to green technology.
Verdict: Big failure. Copenhagen was a massive let down. So forget Obama, all our leaders have disappointed us.
3. Roger Federer win BOTH the French Open & Wimbledon. (The other two don't really count)
Verdict: Finally!!! The FedEx finally won the French open, thanks to Nadal no doubt. Two sets in Two matches and he would have won the Grand Slam. Oh, what could have been!
4. My credit card bill disappear.
Verdict: It comes and goes. Like all bad things in life. But am quite happy with the way things stand currently.
5. A blanket ban on whaling.
Verdict: Stupid Japanese. Need to kill a 1000 whales for ‘scientific research’. Am glad Sony & Toyota are running into the red. Serves them right. Maybe they’ll do some real research now. Sony – why their products are twice as expensive but only marginally better. Toyota – why their cars are so damn boring!
6. A decent coalition come to power at the centre after the general elections.
Verdict: Score!!! Bye bye lefties. See you in the NCERT history books. And nowhere else.
7. Bin Laden finally gets caught.
Verdict: Who cares anymore? Wasn’t worthy of being on this list actually.
8. The Large Haldron Collider that CERN built actually works & they discover whatever they were looking for.
Verdict: Another blank. Well I guess these things take time.
9. The second season of IPL is shorter, but just as much fun as the first.
Verdict: Hats off to Modi & Co for pulling this one off. Don’t know if the matches were more fun, but they did a good job at such notice.
10. Bayern Munich do well in the Champions League.
Verdict: Losing to Barca is no shame. That too with half your team injured. So yeah I’d say Bayern did pretty well in the CL.
Final Scoreline: 5-5
Now about 2010. Let’s see what I’d like to happen during this year. Hmmm…
1. The GoI shows some balls & stands up to the Chinese – high time we took ourselves seriously
2. Germany do well during the World Cup in South Africa – though with the 20 something youngsters like Ozil, Kroos, Adler, Tasci, Marin & Bender I think they’ll have a better team for Euro 2012 or WC 2014 than now
3. Air fares come back to reasonable rates – am sick of paying airlines so much just so that they can put up their staff in 5 star hotels
4. Indian news channels become more responsible & stop acting like imbeciles – self censorship obviously doesn’t work in media just like self regulation didn’t work in financial markets
5. The Kindle (or similar products) become available in India at reasonable prices – think of the trees that can be saved
6. Inflation comes down – am fed up of paying 40 bucks for an apple & 100 bucks for a kg of daal
7. Google launches a Chrome browser for the Mac – I like the Mac Firefox, but hey Chrome rocks anyday
8. The fad of ‘reality’ shows goes away – need I explain this one?
9. Government of Goa first starts collecting garbage before it builds that sealink between Panjim & Vasco – talk about priorities!!
10. You are nicer to your family & friends – awww, that was soooo sweet. Surely you can do this for me?
1. Manmohan Singh finally show some spine and take on the pakis.
Verdict: Not really happening. We’re still a soft nation waiting to get whacked. Still, at least there haven’t been any more 26/11 type fiascos.
2. Obama give a huge boost to green technology.
Verdict: Big failure. Copenhagen was a massive let down. So forget Obama, all our leaders have disappointed us.
3. Roger Federer win BOTH the French Open & Wimbledon. (The other two don't really count)
Verdict: Finally!!! The FedEx finally won the French open, thanks to Nadal no doubt. Two sets in Two matches and he would have won the Grand Slam. Oh, what could have been!
4. My credit card bill disappear.
Verdict: It comes and goes. Like all bad things in life. But am quite happy with the way things stand currently.
5. A blanket ban on whaling.
Verdict: Stupid Japanese. Need to kill a 1000 whales for ‘scientific research’. Am glad Sony & Toyota are running into the red. Serves them right. Maybe they’ll do some real research now. Sony – why their products are twice as expensive but only marginally better. Toyota – why their cars are so damn boring!
6. A decent coalition come to power at the centre after the general elections.
Verdict: Score!!! Bye bye lefties. See you in the NCERT history books. And nowhere else.
7. Bin Laden finally gets caught.
Verdict: Who cares anymore? Wasn’t worthy of being on this list actually.
8. The Large Haldron Collider that CERN built actually works & they discover whatever they were looking for.
Verdict: Another blank. Well I guess these things take time.
9. The second season of IPL is shorter, but just as much fun as the first.
Verdict: Hats off to Modi & Co for pulling this one off. Don’t know if the matches were more fun, but they did a good job at such notice.
10. Bayern Munich do well in the Champions League.
Verdict: Losing to Barca is no shame. That too with half your team injured. So yeah I’d say Bayern did pretty well in the CL.
Final Scoreline: 5-5
Now about 2010. Let’s see what I’d like to happen during this year. Hmmm…
1. The GoI shows some balls & stands up to the Chinese – high time we took ourselves seriously
2. Germany do well during the World Cup in South Africa – though with the 20 something youngsters like Ozil, Kroos, Adler, Tasci, Marin & Bender I think they’ll have a better team for Euro 2012 or WC 2014 than now
3. Air fares come back to reasonable rates – am sick of paying airlines so much just so that they can put up their staff in 5 star hotels
4. Indian news channels become more responsible & stop acting like imbeciles – self censorship obviously doesn’t work in media just like self regulation didn’t work in financial markets
5. The Kindle (or similar products) become available in India at reasonable prices – think of the trees that can be saved
6. Inflation comes down – am fed up of paying 40 bucks for an apple & 100 bucks for a kg of daal
7. Google launches a Chrome browser for the Mac – I like the Mac Firefox, but hey Chrome rocks anyday
8. The fad of ‘reality’ shows goes away – need I explain this one?
9. Government of Goa first starts collecting garbage before it builds that sealink between Panjim & Vasco – talk about priorities!!
10. You are nicer to your family & friends – awww, that was soooo sweet. Surely you can do this for me?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
50 Word Stories - Part 3
1. Rumble in the Jungle
The mob of beasts lumbered towards him. Slowly at first and then faster. Even from this distance he could hear the racket they made. Snarling, sometimes at each other, they would kill him if he wasn’t careful.
He glanced at his nervous deputy and said, ‘Turn the traffic light red’.
2. Picked from a Line Up
The moment she walked in the store, I knew she was trouble. I’d seen her type before. Rich, young, bored. Her husband didn’t pay her attention anymore so she went looking for trouble. Just my luck. She looked towards me and my heart sank.
‘I’ll take that poodle’ she said.
3. I Need a Break
I glanced at my watch. Just 4 o’clock! When would this day end? I had taken enough crap from these people the last few days. I needed a break. I needed my sanctum, my zone. I needed to get away from them.
Why aren't the stock markets open on weekends?
The mob of beasts lumbered towards him. Slowly at first and then faster. Even from this distance he could hear the racket they made. Snarling, sometimes at each other, they would kill him if he wasn’t careful.
He glanced at his nervous deputy and said, ‘Turn the traffic light red’.
2. Picked from a Line Up
The moment she walked in the store, I knew she was trouble. I’d seen her type before. Rich, young, bored. Her husband didn’t pay her attention anymore so she went looking for trouble. Just my luck. She looked towards me and my heart sank.
‘I’ll take that poodle’ she said.
3. I Need a Break
I glanced at my watch. Just 4 o’clock! When would this day end? I had taken enough crap from these people the last few days. I needed a break. I needed my sanctum, my zone. I needed to get away from them.
Why aren't the stock markets open on weekends?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Enough is Enough
Here's one of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long time....And the music is awesome!
I've seen this video a number of times since yesterday and each time it connects in a different way.
When I first saw it I was horrified. The scenes which show the whale in its death throes, the rotting dolphin and the animals hung by the side of the road really disgusted me. They also made me feel ashamed. For being part of a species that can cause so much death & destruction. We aspire to noble sentiments, think of ourselves as God's children. Yet at the same time we turn a blind eye to what we don't want to know and continue to do the Devil's work.
But then the video changes its theme within a few seconds. I think that the scene with the wall of children's drawings marks the turning point. It is as if to say, 'Okay we've messed up in the past. But we can change the future.' And the lone Greenpeace activist calls in for help. His buddies arrive and you begin to think that the tide can turn.
The latter half of the video gives you a sense of hope and a realization that action is needed. I think Greenpeace has done a brilliant job showing the kind of dedication that people have for the environment. They've also shown how tough, and dangerous, their job is. Not to mention how harsh the authorities can be.
Its a great video with many great scenes. One that sticks in my mind is the banner which says, 'Enough is Enough'. Of course, its a lot easier to watch a video than it is to stop climate change. But unless we draw the line somewhere, how will we know when Enough... really IS enough?
I've seen this video a number of times since yesterday and each time it connects in a different way.
When I first saw it I was horrified. The scenes which show the whale in its death throes, the rotting dolphin and the animals hung by the side of the road really disgusted me. They also made me feel ashamed. For being part of a species that can cause so much death & destruction. We aspire to noble sentiments, think of ourselves as God's children. Yet at the same time we turn a blind eye to what we don't want to know and continue to do the Devil's work.
But then the video changes its theme within a few seconds. I think that the scene with the wall of children's drawings marks the turning point. It is as if to say, 'Okay we've messed up in the past. But we can change the future.' And the lone Greenpeace activist calls in for help. His buddies arrive and you begin to think that the tide can turn.
The latter half of the video gives you a sense of hope and a realization that action is needed. I think Greenpeace has done a brilliant job showing the kind of dedication that people have for the environment. They've also shown how tough, and dangerous, their job is. Not to mention how harsh the authorities can be.
Its a great video with many great scenes. One that sticks in my mind is the banner which says, 'Enough is Enough'. Of course, its a lot easier to watch a video than it is to stop climate change. But unless we draw the line somewhere, how will we know when Enough... really IS enough?
Monday, July 06, 2009
The Anti-MBA: Return on Documentation & Common Sense
We MBAs love to coin terms, invent frameworks, run regressions and perform analyses. It’s what we get paid to do and, often enough, it’s how we justify our existence in an organization. When you can bandy about terms like ‘positive network externalities’, ‘time compression diseconomics, ‘coefficient of regression’, ‘sustainable competitive advantage’, people tend to think that you are someone who knows a lot.
I’ve seen people run regressions and come out with statements like, ‘In order to turn around the hotel, we need to fire 273 people’. Hmmm, an interesting number and the speaker’s confidence might make you believe that his word was gospel truth. But in this case, there were two minor flaws in the argument. One, people don’t draw the same salaries, so do we pull names out of a hat and say, ‘Sorry old chap. This recession is a real pain’? The second flaw with this brilliant quantitative analysis was that the total number of data points used to run the regression was…. 3. Yes, 3. It’s the number that comes after 2 and before 4. You didn’t need MS Excel 2007 and a bunch of, in this case, overpaid MBAs to do the analysis for you. You could have managed with a 3 year old who knew how to connect the dots with a pencil and a ruler.
Now I am no 3 year old (though I used to be), but I do have an open mind. Today I learnt a new term called Return on Documentation, or as some of you might prefer, ROD. Given the pathetic money I’ve earned from the Google ads on this blog (subtle hint for you) I personally think that ROD has very little significance in the real world. But I wouldn’t want my bitter experiences with Google to taint what should be an objective discussion.
Don’t get me wrong. I think doing an MBA was a marvelous thing. I went from being grossly underpaid to marginally underpaid on the financial front. But intellectually, it opened up many new avenues to my tiny brain and gave me a slightly better understanding of how things work. It also allowed me to meet some of the most interesting, genuine and hardworking people I know – the housekeeping staff and the librarians at ISB.
Jokes apart an MBA did change my life. For the better. The reason I wrote this post is only because I feel that a lot of the jargon is well, just that. Jargon. The same goes for most of the analysis we do. I often get the feeling that it is done to cover our backsides in the event that things go wrong. ‘Look, we did our due diligence, it’s just that the macro-environment changed’.
But isn’t that what we’re supposed to plan for? We’ve all heard of the 5Cs & 4Ps of marketing. To this list of management by alphabet, I would like to add ‘6Ps of Strategy’. The 6Ps are ‘Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance’. Might sound to you as stating the obvious. That’s exactly my point. A lot of what we MBAs pass off as management techniques are actually different forms of a simple thing invented by cave men. It’s called Common Sense. (Cave Man: Fire hot, no touch. Tiger Angry, no tease. Mother-in-law coming, no drink with buddies).
Take some common sense, add plenty of humility & genuineness, throw in some healthy respect for numbers, a touch of street smart and finally a dash of willingness to take decisions and you’ll make a pretty decent manager.
Now that I know the recipe, I need to start making one myself.
I’ve seen people run regressions and come out with statements like, ‘In order to turn around the hotel, we need to fire 273 people’. Hmmm, an interesting number and the speaker’s confidence might make you believe that his word was gospel truth. But in this case, there were two minor flaws in the argument. One, people don’t draw the same salaries, so do we pull names out of a hat and say, ‘Sorry old chap. This recession is a real pain’? The second flaw with this brilliant quantitative analysis was that the total number of data points used to run the regression was…. 3. Yes, 3. It’s the number that comes after 2 and before 4. You didn’t need MS Excel 2007 and a bunch of, in this case, overpaid MBAs to do the analysis for you. You could have managed with a 3 year old who knew how to connect the dots with a pencil and a ruler.
Now I am no 3 year old (though I used to be), but I do have an open mind. Today I learnt a new term called Return on Documentation, or as some of you might prefer, ROD. Given the pathetic money I’ve earned from the Google ads on this blog (subtle hint for you) I personally think that ROD has very little significance in the real world. But I wouldn’t want my bitter experiences with Google to taint what should be an objective discussion.
Don’t get me wrong. I think doing an MBA was a marvelous thing. I went from being grossly underpaid to marginally underpaid on the financial front. But intellectually, it opened up many new avenues to my tiny brain and gave me a slightly better understanding of how things work. It also allowed me to meet some of the most interesting, genuine and hardworking people I know – the housekeeping staff and the librarians at ISB.
Jokes apart an MBA did change my life. For the better. The reason I wrote this post is only because I feel that a lot of the jargon is well, just that. Jargon. The same goes for most of the analysis we do. I often get the feeling that it is done to cover our backsides in the event that things go wrong. ‘Look, we did our due diligence, it’s just that the macro-environment changed’.
But isn’t that what we’re supposed to plan for? We’ve all heard of the 5Cs & 4Ps of marketing. To this list of management by alphabet, I would like to add ‘6Ps of Strategy’. The 6Ps are ‘Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance’. Might sound to you as stating the obvious. That’s exactly my point. A lot of what we MBAs pass off as management techniques are actually different forms of a simple thing invented by cave men. It’s called Common Sense. (Cave Man: Fire hot, no touch. Tiger Angry, no tease. Mother-in-law coming, no drink with buddies).
Take some common sense, add plenty of humility & genuineness, throw in some healthy respect for numbers, a touch of street smart and finally a dash of willingness to take decisions and you’ll make a pretty decent manager.
Now that I know the recipe, I need to start making one myself.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I Wish I Knew
A few things that have crossed my mind from time to time. Maybe you can help me with the following:
1. Orange - is the fruit named after the colour or is it the other way around?
2. How on earth did someone think of 'Bluetooth'? Will we soon have 'Greenhair' or 'Blackleg'?
3. When all of us have mobiles, why do we still wear watches?
4. When the anesthetic needle hurts, isn't it defeating the whole purpose of getting anesthetized?
5. What language do dogs dream in?
6. Why can't they invent a towel that doesn't have lint (or whatever) when its new?
7. What would your dead relatives think of you if they could actually observe you all the time?
8. When women wear trousers or pants, its considered modern or professional or even normal. But when (some) men wear skirts, they are called cross dressers (amongst other things)?
9. Would we really laugh at half of the jokes on sitcoms if it wasn't for the canned laughter?
10. Why aren't you making me rich by clicking on those crappy Google ads?
1. Orange - is the fruit named after the colour or is it the other way around?
2. How on earth did someone think of 'Bluetooth'? Will we soon have 'Greenhair' or 'Blackleg'?
3. When all of us have mobiles, why do we still wear watches?
4. When the anesthetic needle hurts, isn't it defeating the whole purpose of getting anesthetized?
5. What language do dogs dream in?
6. Why can't they invent a towel that doesn't have lint (or whatever) when its new?
7. What would your dead relatives think of you if they could actually observe you all the time?
8. When women wear trousers or pants, its considered modern or professional or even normal. But when (some) men wear skirts, they are called cross dressers (amongst other things)?
9. Would we really laugh at half of the jokes on sitcoms if it wasn't for the canned laughter?
10. Why aren't you making me rich by clicking on those crappy Google ads?
Friday, June 19, 2009
Strangers In The Dark
I saw a man last night.
Under a tree, in the shadows.
Broken, beaten, homeless, friendless.
And worst of all, without hope.
He had rags for clothes, foot sores for shoes, lice for company.
He was half sitting, half lying down.
Like he couldn’t decide whether to give up on life,
Or whether to rave one last time at the world.
He stared into the darkness.
Was he staring into the darkness of his soul?
He had probably known better days,
But then his shirt had probably known a better owner.
Our paths crossed, but our eyes never locked.
He stayed in his world, and couldn’t leave it even if he tried.
I felt bad for the briefest of minutes.
But then I stepped into the light and drove to the mall.
Under a tree, in the shadows.
Broken, beaten, homeless, friendless.
And worst of all, without hope.
He had rags for clothes, foot sores for shoes, lice for company.
He was half sitting, half lying down.
Like he couldn’t decide whether to give up on life,
Or whether to rave one last time at the world.
He stared into the darkness.
Was he staring into the darkness of his soul?
He had probably known better days,
But then his shirt had probably known a better owner.
Our paths crossed, but our eyes never locked.
He stayed in his world, and couldn’t leave it even if he tried.
I felt bad for the briefest of minutes.
But then I stepped into the light and drove to the mall.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
An Open Letter
Dear Learned Indian,
I hope you will help me sort out a few things in my head. I watch you on TV, read of you in the papers and see you on the roads. Your confidence and knowledge shines through in your opinions that you so generously share with everyone. I am sure that you will help me figure out the following:
1. Why do you get angry when Indian boys are beaten up in Australia, but you think it's good fun to tease or molest young white girls when they come to your country? Pardon me for asking, but isn't the saying 'Atithi Devo Bhava' and not 'Atithi Babe Bhava'?
2. On one hand you have very high expectations from your cricket team and do not tolerate any mistakes or losses. At the same time you continue to vote for the same corrupt criminals. I mean, aren't they both an overpaid bunch of people who under perform, and yet have an exaggerated sense of their own importance?
3. You talk of Indian culture, or should I Bharatiya Sanskriti, yet you love to see semi naked women gyrating obscenely in the Swiss Alps in your movies. How many of you actually go for Indian plays or dance performances? I'll bet you haven't read Kalidas, but can recall at least a few words from Shakespeare?
4. Why do you smirk when the Pakistani army fights in the Swat valley, yet change the channel when the news reports another Naxalite attack in some district? Is it really true that one country's problem is a civil war and the other's is just a domestic issue? Or is that starved tribals and their children are not from your India and so shouldn't disturb your comfortable world?
5. Why are you so impatient when you drive your car and honk all the time, and yet you don't mind waiting for hours when you to a Government office? Does honking actually make traffic move faster? And do babus really deserve your respect?
These are just a few things that came to mind. I see you offering, what must be, informed opinions all the time on TV and any other public forums so I guess you are far wiser than I. Please enlighten me, oh scion of an ancient and glorious land.
Yours Logically,
A Confused Indian
PS: Except for the first point, I am as guilty as any of all the points I have raised. Am not casting stones, am just looking in the mirror.
I hope you will help me sort out a few things in my head. I watch you on TV, read of you in the papers and see you on the roads. Your confidence and knowledge shines through in your opinions that you so generously share with everyone. I am sure that you will help me figure out the following:
1. Why do you get angry when Indian boys are beaten up in Australia, but you think it's good fun to tease or molest young white girls when they come to your country? Pardon me for asking, but isn't the saying 'Atithi Devo Bhava' and not 'Atithi Babe Bhava'?
2. On one hand you have very high expectations from your cricket team and do not tolerate any mistakes or losses. At the same time you continue to vote for the same corrupt criminals. I mean, aren't they both an overpaid bunch of people who under perform, and yet have an exaggerated sense of their own importance?
3. You talk of Indian culture, or should I Bharatiya Sanskriti, yet you love to see semi naked women gyrating obscenely in the Swiss Alps in your movies. How many of you actually go for Indian plays or dance performances? I'll bet you haven't read Kalidas, but can recall at least a few words from Shakespeare?
4. Why do you smirk when the Pakistani army fights in the Swat valley, yet change the channel when the news reports another Naxalite attack in some district? Is it really true that one country's problem is a civil war and the other's is just a domestic issue? Or is that starved tribals and their children are not from your India and so shouldn't disturb your comfortable world?
5. Why are you so impatient when you drive your car and honk all the time, and yet you don't mind waiting for hours when you to a Government office? Does honking actually make traffic move faster? And do babus really deserve your respect?
These are just a few things that came to mind. I see you offering, what must be, informed opinions all the time on TV and any other public forums so I guess you are far wiser than I. Please enlighten me, oh scion of an ancient and glorious land.
Yours Logically,
A Confused Indian
PS: Except for the first point, I am as guilty as any of all the points I have raised. Am not casting stones, am just looking in the mirror.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
The Value of Money
'75 rupees for a pencil! Don't be silly!'. The shock on his face as he looked at his daughter said it all. He was amused that someone could actually demand that much for a pencil, surprised that people would be prepared to pay for it, embarrassed that I had noticed him and ashamed that he couldn't afford it.
I was at the counter of a book store when this little girl came running up to her dad with a shiny silver pen-pencil. 'Papa, papa... I want this one'. I didn't pay any attention at first till her dad expressed his views on expensive pencils.
I glanced at the child. She wore a school uniform. It was a clean but worn out. Probably handed down from an elder sibling or relative. Her hair had been cut really short. She had either come back from Tirupati or her barber didn't like her or her parents thought that stubble on a girl's head was a great way of beating the heat.
The father was probably in his mid 20s. He had an honest and straightforward manner. I guess he worked as a junior executive in a company. Or so I'd like to think.
'Please Papa, please'. I felt like giving the child the pencil she so badly wanted. The father caught my gaze and knew I was observing the two of them. For a second he looked down at the child and then addressed me. 'She has to learn the value of money'.
And with that he gently led the bawling girl away from the counter.
I stood there for a while and thought about my own childhood. My parents weren't rich but they never denied my brother or me anything we asked for. In fact, there were times when they put our entertainment (video game) ahead of their comfort (desert cooler). I don't recall ever throwing a tantrum in a store. Probably because my grandparents got us all the latest toys from Canada. Yet, that scene in the book store gave me a small insight into what it must be like to be a parent and have to provide for another person's needs.
Managing your own needs is one thing. Having to look after a child or a parent who is totally dependent on you is another. For a minute I wondered how I would handle my kids' demands. Then I remembered that my parents had taught us the value of money. And knew I would do just fine.
So I collected my book and walked out of the store with a smile on my face.
Thank you Mom, Dad, Grandma and Gramps.
I was at the counter of a book store when this little girl came running up to her dad with a shiny silver pen-pencil. 'Papa, papa... I want this one'. I didn't pay any attention at first till her dad expressed his views on expensive pencils.
I glanced at the child. She wore a school uniform. It was a clean but worn out. Probably handed down from an elder sibling or relative. Her hair had been cut really short. She had either come back from Tirupati or her barber didn't like her or her parents thought that stubble on a girl's head was a great way of beating the heat.
The father was probably in his mid 20s. He had an honest and straightforward manner. I guess he worked as a junior executive in a company. Or so I'd like to think.
'Please Papa, please'. I felt like giving the child the pencil she so badly wanted. The father caught my gaze and knew I was observing the two of them. For a second he looked down at the child and then addressed me. 'She has to learn the value of money'.
And with that he gently led the bawling girl away from the counter.
I stood there for a while and thought about my own childhood. My parents weren't rich but they never denied my brother or me anything we asked for. In fact, there were times when they put our entertainment (video game) ahead of their comfort (desert cooler). I don't recall ever throwing a tantrum in a store. Probably because my grandparents got us all the latest toys from Canada. Yet, that scene in the book store gave me a small insight into what it must be like to be a parent and have to provide for another person's needs.
Managing your own needs is one thing. Having to look after a child or a parent who is totally dependent on you is another. For a minute I wondered how I would handle my kids' demands. Then I remembered that my parents had taught us the value of money. And knew I would do just fine.
So I collected my book and walked out of the store with a smile on my face.
Thank you Mom, Dad, Grandma and Gramps.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Global Warming At Home
I defrosted my fridge last night and woke up to see the effects of global warming first hand. In my dining room.
Huge ice caps had melted. Water covered what used to be dry land (my living room). Food supplies (milk and veges) were thrown into disarray. Fresh water (cold) became scarce. Long forgotten plants and animals, aka food packets, were rediscovered under the mass of ice. Inaccessible regions, like the back of my freezer, became easy to reach. Man had to survive on whatever he could find to eat (bread and jam).
It was like watching 'The Day After Tomorrow' and 'Ice Age 2'.
And if the look on my maid's face when she saw the mess is a true reflection of her feelings, social unrest is just around the corner. 'Water World', here we come.
Huge ice caps had melted. Water covered what used to be dry land (my living room). Food supplies (milk and veges) were thrown into disarray. Fresh water (cold) became scarce. Long forgotten plants and animals, aka food packets, were rediscovered under the mass of ice. Inaccessible regions, like the back of my freezer, became easy to reach. Man had to survive on whatever he could find to eat (bread and jam).
It was like watching 'The Day After Tomorrow' and 'Ice Age 2'.
And if the look on my maid's face when she saw the mess is a true reflection of her feelings, social unrest is just around the corner. 'Water World', here we come.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Work and Me
I just realized that if 'work is worship', I am an atheist.
PS - Vaze, please make note of the above statement. Don't try to palm it off as yours.
PS - Vaze, please make note of the above statement. Don't try to palm it off as yours.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
50 Word Stories - Part 2
1. The Pole
He looked at the pole at his workplace. Strong, hard, metallic, male. Every day he would wear his hat & slide on it. Girls giggled when he talked about it. They’d bat their eyelids, smile and want one thing only.
‘So mister, what’s it like to be a … fireman?’
2. Burning Flesh
She stared at the flames. They had a hypnotic effect & were mocking her. She was trapped. Why had she ever entered this room? Flesh was burning before her eyes. Something had to be done or she was doomed. Panic!
‘How’s that roast coming along?’, asked the Master Chef.
3. Waiting
Cold sweat. Racing heart beats. Dub dub dub. The excitement of what was to come. Why had they done it? Why had they waited so long? Their lives had changed forever. Anticipation. Love. Panic. Worry. Joy. Mixed emotions.
‘Congratulations, your wife just gave birth to a boy’, said the doctor.
He looked at the pole at his workplace. Strong, hard, metallic, male. Every day he would wear his hat & slide on it. Girls giggled when he talked about it. They’d bat their eyelids, smile and want one thing only.
‘So mister, what’s it like to be a … fireman?’
2. Burning Flesh
She stared at the flames. They had a hypnotic effect & were mocking her. She was trapped. Why had she ever entered this room? Flesh was burning before her eyes. Something had to be done or she was doomed. Panic!
‘How’s that roast coming along?’, asked the Master Chef.
3. Waiting
Cold sweat. Racing heart beats. Dub dub dub. The excitement of what was to come. Why had they done it? Why had they waited so long? Their lives had changed forever. Anticipation. Love. Panic. Worry. Joy. Mixed emotions.
‘Congratulations, your wife just gave birth to a boy’, said the doctor.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Football's All Time Greatest XI
Just for the heck of it, I came up with my All Time Greatest XI. It was a helluva lot of fun coming up with the list. Though, most of the players would feature in almost anyone's All Time Greatest XI.
After a lot of consideration, I opted for a 3-5-2 formation. For the uninformed, that means 3 defenders, 5 midfielders and 2 forwards. Given the talent and skill that these players possess, I guess any formation would do.
Strikers - Mueller and Pele
Attacking Midfielders - Puskas and Maradon
Wingers - Cruijff (left) and Garrincha (right)
Holding Midfielder - Matthaeus
Defenders - Maldini & Baresi
Sweeper - Beckenbaur
Goalkeeper - Yashin
Pele and Mueller were shoo ins for me. I couldn't think of anyone else to play as strikers. I think that Mueller's finishing skills are second to none. And Pele is Pele. But just in case they have an off day, I've put Puskas and Maradona as attacking midfielders right behind them. Maradona's a genius. Arguably the best footballer ever (some might say Pele), and no team would be complete without him.
Now I know that Puskas wasn't a pure midfielder, but with his talent and goal scoring abilities (84 international goals in 85 matches), I just couldn't leave him out.
The same with Cruijff. He was one of the greatest forwards to play the game. But he was also the best proponent of Total Football. So I can put him anywhere I want in the field. And he'd still run circle around his opponents :-) And Garrincha just has to be the best right winger ever. The magic he worked with those bent legs is one of the reasons why Pele won so many World Cups.
Okay, we've assembled an awesome attack. But you need someone to hold it all together. To my mind, Lothar Matthaeus is that man. He would play as a holding/defensive midfielder, protect the defenders and link up with the forwards. I think a player who won EVERYTHING except the Champions League and who Maradona called 'my greatest oppponent' gets the nod for this position.
Now, in the unlikely event that someone manages to get the ball and hold on to it for more than 2 passes, they would run into a stone wall. Maldini and Baresi would be prowling around just behind Matthaeus and would shut down any thoughts they had of crossing the half line mark. And with the Kaiser playing as sweeper, I doubt that Yashin would have much to do other than stretch around.
As you can see, this team is built for one thing - camp inside the other team's half. Unrelenting pressure, constant ball possession and mindblowing dribbling would be the way to go. Score goals, score more goals and then score even more would be the game plan.
There are a few other players I did consider. George Best, Marco van Basten, Michel Platini, Uwe Seeler, Bobby Charlton, Nilton Santos, Alfredo di Stefano, Socrates, Romario, Sepp Maier to name a few. I guess you could put together a very good team with them too. I left them out for different reasons. Best, di Stefano and van Basten mainly because while they achieved club level superstardom its the international matches which count. The others were good, very very good in fact. Its just that there were better players in those positions.
So that's my XI. Maybe you think that you can come up with a better team. Let me know. :-)
After a lot of consideration, I opted for a 3-5-2 formation. For the uninformed, that means 3 defenders, 5 midfielders and 2 forwards. Given the talent and skill that these players possess, I guess any formation would do.
Strikers - Mueller and Pele
Attacking Midfielders - Puskas and Maradon
Wingers - Cruijff (left) and Garrincha (right)
Holding Midfielder - Matthaeus
Defenders - Maldini & Baresi
Sweeper - Beckenbaur
Goalkeeper - Yashin
Pele and Mueller were shoo ins for me. I couldn't think of anyone else to play as strikers. I think that Mueller's finishing skills are second to none. And Pele is Pele. But just in case they have an off day, I've put Puskas and Maradona as attacking midfielders right behind them. Maradona's a genius. Arguably the best footballer ever (some might say Pele), and no team would be complete without him.
Now I know that Puskas wasn't a pure midfielder, but with his talent and goal scoring abilities (84 international goals in 85 matches), I just couldn't leave him out.
The same with Cruijff. He was one of the greatest forwards to play the game. But he was also the best proponent of Total Football. So I can put him anywhere I want in the field. And he'd still run circle around his opponents :-) And Garrincha just has to be the best right winger ever. The magic he worked with those bent legs is one of the reasons why Pele won so many World Cups.
Okay, we've assembled an awesome attack. But you need someone to hold it all together. To my mind, Lothar Matthaeus is that man. He would play as a holding/defensive midfielder, protect the defenders and link up with the forwards. I think a player who won EVERYTHING except the Champions League and who Maradona called 'my greatest oppponent' gets the nod for this position.
Now, in the unlikely event that someone manages to get the ball and hold on to it for more than 2 passes, they would run into a stone wall. Maldini and Baresi would be prowling around just behind Matthaeus and would shut down any thoughts they had of crossing the half line mark. And with the Kaiser playing as sweeper, I doubt that Yashin would have much to do other than stretch around.
As you can see, this team is built for one thing - camp inside the other team's half. Unrelenting pressure, constant ball possession and mindblowing dribbling would be the way to go. Score goals, score more goals and then score even more would be the game plan.
There are a few other players I did consider. George Best, Marco van Basten, Michel Platini, Uwe Seeler, Bobby Charlton, Nilton Santos, Alfredo di Stefano, Socrates, Romario, Sepp Maier to name a few. I guess you could put together a very good team with them too. I left them out for different reasons. Best, di Stefano and van Basten mainly because while they achieved club level superstardom its the international matches which count. The others were good, very very good in fact. Its just that there were better players in those positions.
So that's my XI. Maybe you think that you can come up with a better team. Let me know. :-)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Lyrical Poetry - Part 1
Hey Andy, did you hear about this one?
I’ve fallen in love for the first time.
I don't know where my soul is,
Said I loved you but I lied.
I’m living in a dream, a fantasy
I have become comfortably numb.
I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She took me in and gave me breakfast.
And she left before I had the chance to say,
I don't wanna be lonely no more.
I take my chance on a beautiful stranger,
If that's the way it must be, okay.
How can I tell her about you?
Because it ain't no use.
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down,
And all that's left is that image that I'll find a way.
I just can't believe that it's over,
I'd turn around if you'd just ask me one more time
Before you think I have completely lost it and have gone from being a bad writer to a horrible poet, allow me to explain myself. I didn't pen the lines above. They are taken from different songs. I just created a collage of words of sorts. And tried to make some kind of sense of it. :-)
The songs in the same order are:
First Para
1. Man on the Moon - R.E.M.
2. I Want to Break Free - Queen
3. I am Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
4. Said I Loved You - Michael Bolton
5. Dreamer - Ozzy Osbourne
6. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Second Para
1. Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
2. Down Under - Men at Work
3. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
4. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas
5. Beautiful Stranger - Maddona
6. Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Third Para
1. How Can I Tell Her - Lobo
2. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
3. I Can't Quit You - Led Zeppelin
4. Don't Stop - The Rolling Stones
5. So Long Jimmy - James Blunt
6. Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer - Kenny Rogers
I’ve fallen in love for the first time.
I don't know where my soul is,
Said I loved you but I lied.
I’m living in a dream, a fantasy
I have become comfortably numb.
I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She took me in and gave me breakfast.
And she left before I had the chance to say,
I don't wanna be lonely no more.
I take my chance on a beautiful stranger,
If that's the way it must be, okay.
How can I tell her about you?
Because it ain't no use.
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down,
And all that's left is that image that I'll find a way.
I just can't believe that it's over,
I'd turn around if you'd just ask me one more time
Before you think I have completely lost it and have gone from being a bad writer to a horrible poet, allow me to explain myself. I didn't pen the lines above. They are taken from different songs. I just created a collage of words of sorts. And tried to make some kind of sense of it. :-)
The songs in the same order are:
First Para
1. Man on the Moon - R.E.M.
2. I Want to Break Free - Queen
3. I am Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
4. Said I Loved You - Michael Bolton
5. Dreamer - Ozzy Osbourne
6. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Second Para
1. Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
2. Down Under - Men at Work
3. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
4. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas
5. Beautiful Stranger - Maddona
6. Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Third Para
1. How Can I Tell Her - Lobo
2. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
3. I Can't Quit You - Led Zeppelin
4. Don't Stop - The Rolling Stones
5. So Long Jimmy - James Blunt
6. Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer - Kenny Rogers
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Save Rani Bagh
In spite of Tata Tea's best efforts I have decided that I will not register to vote. No, it's not because I am what the ancient Greeks would call and 'idiot' (someone who does not exercise his right to vote). Actually, I am what a lot of modern Indians would call an idiot, but that is a different story. The reason I have chosen not to vote is that I don't see the point of it.
Okay, before you start screaming that every vote counts let me clarify that I like the concept of universal franchise and democracy. I also believe that people should vote. In principle. But this morning I realised that there are other problems, bigger and more pressing, that I would rather help resolve. The environment to begin with. I think that what we are doing to the environment will have a much more severe and long term impact than deciding which party deserves your vote. A 100 years from now people will curse/thank us for who we voted for in the elections of 2009, but they will curse/thank us for what we did to save the planet.
So I have chosen a cause. You might argue that saving the environment has nothing to do with exercising your vote. And you're probably right. But I just don't give a rat's ass about which crook and his/her bunch of thugs comes to power. They are all the same. Now that's my stance. You're welcome to choose your own line of action.
As the first step towards trying to clean up this mess, I have signed an online petition to save Rani Bagh Botanical Gardens in Mumbai. Its a small step, but it is something at least.
Turns out that the Muncipal Corporation in Bombay wants to modernize this park which was set up in 1861. A noble thought, especially if you consider that they are willing to spend Rs. 433 Crores and pay a Thai and an American company to do it. Really, a noble thought.
Turns out that they planned to lop off most of the 3,177 and build a new aquarium, theatre, and exploration centre, car park, staff quarters, and expansion of the animal hospital. When the plan was opposed by environmentalists and conscientious bureaucrats (S.K. Patnaik and Dr. Rommel Mehta), the Central Zoo Authority told the BMC not to fell a single tree. However, the Machiavellian babus managed to get the order amended to state that 'diseased' trees could be felled.
Diseased trees! How about shooting diseased babus as well?
Anyway, the fight is still going on between the forces of good and the BMC. You can do your bit by signing this online petition. It barely takes 30 seconds. I know, coz I did it. And it beats standing in line outside a voting booth anyday.
Okay, before you start screaming that every vote counts let me clarify that I like the concept of universal franchise and democracy. I also believe that people should vote. In principle. But this morning I realised that there are other problems, bigger and more pressing, that I would rather help resolve. The environment to begin with. I think that what we are doing to the environment will have a much more severe and long term impact than deciding which party deserves your vote. A 100 years from now people will curse/thank us for who we voted for in the elections of 2009, but they will curse/thank us for what we did to save the planet.
So I have chosen a cause. You might argue that saving the environment has nothing to do with exercising your vote. And you're probably right. But I just don't give a rat's ass about which crook and his/her bunch of thugs comes to power. They are all the same. Now that's my stance. You're welcome to choose your own line of action.
As the first step towards trying to clean up this mess, I have signed an online petition to save Rani Bagh Botanical Gardens in Mumbai. Its a small step, but it is something at least.
Turns out that the Muncipal Corporation in Bombay wants to modernize this park which was set up in 1861. A noble thought, especially if you consider that they are willing to spend Rs. 433 Crores and pay a Thai and an American company to do it. Really, a noble thought.
Turns out that they planned to lop off most of the 3,177 and build a new aquarium, theatre, and exploration centre, car park, staff quarters, and expansion of the animal hospital. When the plan was opposed by environmentalists and conscientious bureaucrats (S.K. Patnaik and Dr. Rommel Mehta), the Central Zoo Authority told the BMC not to fell a single tree. However, the Machiavellian babus managed to get the order amended to state that 'diseased' trees could be felled.
Diseased trees! How about shooting diseased babus as well?
Anyway, the fight is still going on between the forces of good and the BMC. You can do your bit by signing this online petition. It barely takes 30 seconds. I know, coz I did it. And it beats standing in line outside a voting booth anyday.
Monday, February 09, 2009
About Me
I started this blog to write about myself. Along the way, I realized that people also like to read stuff about less interesting topics. (Smile). It suddenly struck me that it's been a while since I wrote something about yours truly. So here is a post that just about me.
Hold your breath, here we go...
1. I have studied in 8 different schools from the first grade to the twelfth. My favourite school was K.V. Arakkonam. Played the toughest sports, made the best of friends and ran after the prettiest of girls.
2. I learnt to ride my bike and drive my car after I bought both.
3. I have never given an interview and not got the job. I have also never been selected from a group discussion.
4. Someday I'll work for Greenpeace.
5. I've been lucky with friends. My best friends have invariably been smarter, kinder, more popular, wiser and truer than me.
6. I think that there will be more dogs in heaven than people. I also think that they will be happy to see me.
7. I have read Lord of the Rings thrice.
8. If I didn't wear specs, I could have become a navy fighter pilot.
9. I am right handed, except when it comes to holding a guitar, a rifle or a bow.
10. I have been house captain 4 times in school. Yet I can't remember the name of the house I was captain of in 12th standard.
11. I used to play as a central midfielder for the football team in college. I wore the number 13 jersey.
12. I can't play a musical instrument to save my life. And I doubt I can ever learn. You see, I am TONE deaf.
13. Till 6 months ago I didn't know the basics of cooking. Now, my friends' wives lecture their husbands about how they should learn from me. My friends secretly tell me that their wives ought to learn too.
14. I believe in true love. I just wonder if I'll be lucky enough to find it.
15. I think I should stop now.
Hold your breath, here we go...
1. I have studied in 8 different schools from the first grade to the twelfth. My favourite school was K.V. Arakkonam. Played the toughest sports, made the best of friends and ran after the prettiest of girls.
2. I learnt to ride my bike and drive my car after I bought both.
3. I have never given an interview and not got the job. I have also never been selected from a group discussion.
4. Someday I'll work for Greenpeace.
5. I've been lucky with friends. My best friends have invariably been smarter, kinder, more popular, wiser and truer than me.
6. I think that there will be more dogs in heaven than people. I also think that they will be happy to see me.
7. I have read Lord of the Rings thrice.
8. If I didn't wear specs, I could have become a navy fighter pilot.
9. I am right handed, except when it comes to holding a guitar, a rifle or a bow.
10. I have been house captain 4 times in school. Yet I can't remember the name of the house I was captain of in 12th standard.
11. I used to play as a central midfielder for the football team in college. I wore the number 13 jersey.
12. I can't play a musical instrument to save my life. And I doubt I can ever learn. You see, I am TONE deaf.
13. Till 6 months ago I didn't know the basics of cooking. Now, my friends' wives lecture their husbands about how they should learn from me. My friends secretly tell me that their wives ought to learn too.
14. I believe in true love. I just wonder if I'll be lucky enough to find it.
15. I think I should stop now.
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