We MBAs love to coin terms, invent frameworks, run regressions and perform analyses. It’s what we get paid to do and, often enough, it’s how we justify our existence in an organization. When you can bandy about terms like ‘positive network externalities’, ‘time compression diseconomics, ‘coefficient of regression’, ‘sustainable competitive advantage’, people tend to think that you are someone who knows a lot.
I’ve seen people run regressions and come out with statements like, ‘In order to turn around the hotel, we need to fire 273 people’. Hmmm, an interesting number and the speaker’s confidence might make you believe that his word was gospel truth. But in this case, there were two minor flaws in the argument. One, people don’t draw the same salaries, so do we pull names out of a hat and say, ‘Sorry old chap. This recession is a real pain’? The second flaw with this brilliant quantitative analysis was that the total number of data points used to run the regression was…. 3. Yes, 3. It’s the number that comes after 2 and before 4. You didn’t need MS Excel 2007 and a bunch of, in this case, overpaid MBAs to do the analysis for you. You could have managed with a 3 year old who knew how to connect the dots with a pencil and a ruler.
Now I am no 3 year old (though I used to be), but I do have an open mind. Today I learnt a new term called Return on Documentation, or as some of you might prefer, ROD. Given the pathetic money I’ve earned from the Google ads on this blog (subtle hint for you) I personally think that ROD has very little significance in the real world. But I wouldn’t want my bitter experiences with Google to taint what should be an objective discussion.
Don’t get me wrong. I think doing an MBA was a marvelous thing. I went from being grossly underpaid to marginally underpaid on the financial front. But intellectually, it opened up many new avenues to my tiny brain and gave me a slightly better understanding of how things work. It also allowed me to meet some of the most interesting, genuine and hardworking people I know – the housekeeping staff and the librarians at ISB.
Jokes apart an MBA did change my life. For the better. The reason I wrote this post is only because I feel that a lot of the jargon is well, just that. Jargon. The same goes for most of the analysis we do. I often get the feeling that it is done to cover our backsides in the event that things go wrong. ‘Look, we did our due diligence, it’s just that the macro-environment changed’.
But isn’t that what we’re supposed to plan for? We’ve all heard of the 5Cs & 4Ps of marketing. To this list of management by alphabet, I would like to add ‘6Ps of Strategy’. The 6Ps are ‘Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance’. Might sound to you as stating the obvious. That’s exactly my point. A lot of what we MBAs pass off as management techniques are actually different forms of a simple thing invented by cave men. It’s called Common Sense. (Cave Man: Fire hot, no touch. Tiger Angry, no tease. Mother-in-law coming, no drink with buddies).
Take some common sense, add plenty of humility & genuineness, throw in some healthy respect for numbers, a touch of street smart and finally a dash of willingness to take decisions and you’ll make a pretty decent manager.
Now that I know the recipe, I need to start making one myself.
